I'd Like A Number 7, Mirco-Sized Please

These aren't props, they're actual edible food. See how they made it. When it comes to eating fast food, this may be the only way to avoid becoming a tub of lard. White Castle IS impressed.

The Black Jesse Helms

Vernon Robinson, an Eagle Scout and graduate of the US Air Force Academy, is running for Congress in North Carolina against Democrat incumbent Brad Miller. Robinson happily assumes the mantle of former North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms, but instead of merely denigrating blacks to instill fear in white voters, Robinson expands the template to include today's boogie men, illegal aliens and homosexuals. The hot looney one finds him impressive.

In this Twilight Zone themed commercial, Robinson manages to touch upon the following evils that re-electing a Democrat will inflict upon the decent white citizens of North Carolina:

Homosexuals
Lesbians
Feminists
Liberal judges
Burning the American flag
Killing a million babies
(violating the) Ten Commandments
(denying) God
Black children born out of wedlock
Jesse Jackson
Al Sharpton (when he was fat)
Racial quotas

Give the man credit for being thorough. I wonder if Robinson was the inspiration for David Chapelle's piece on the Black Klansman.

Zoom Zoom Zoom

This is a fuel cell prototype wheelchair from Suzuki. Not much info available but it looks sweet.

Of course it's no Tesla, the all electric supercar that goes from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, then again, few cars are.

Sports Reporting - Shoot Me Now

As much as I love football, the level of special interest reporting that accompanies it drives me crazy. Last night the New Orleans Saints played their first game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina. Attention returns to New Orleans, a good thing. Not so good is having sideline reporters like Suzy Kolbert ask every celebrity she could find inane questions about the symbolism of it all. I guess ESPN can't help it, their entire business is based on propping up what is really only entertainment as something deeper and more profund. Stick to sports and leave the deeper questions to others, please.

The Jackson Five - Punjab Edition

Happy Fall

And have a nice weekend.

Bear With Me

On the eve of Rosh Hashana, things are pretty quiet here at the office so I'm going to work on fixing this blog. This new layout, unfortunately, is the result of upgrading to Blogger Beta and needing to fix the comment issues. Hopefully, I will be able to restore the look and feel of the old Kwotebel to the new site. Anyway, long live Kwotebel. Comments, On!

Concession To Pressure?

Wal-Mart has announced that it will beginnng selling certain generic prescription drugs for only $4 per month's supply. Some on the right feels this makes fools of the chain's liberal critics. I don't know, seems to me that the activists who rail against Wal-Mart couldn't be happier by this news. The pressure is working.

Next He Discovers He's An Asshole

As a teen growing up in California, Virginia Senator George Allen, developed a fascination with the confederacy and even wore a rebel flag pin for his high school yearbook photo. He's not southern but he respected the heritage. Later in life, Allen was known to display a noose is his law office, part of a memorobilia collection that was a tribute to our nation's early heritage, he explained. A 1996 photo with the leaders of the KKK, well that was just for shits and giggles.

His love of heritage being what it is, it wasn't surprising when just a few weeks ago Allen used a racial slur (see 4th item) to denigrate a non white employee of his Senate opponent, James Webb. Allen lets us know that he's no bigot, like any good Christian, he's a huge supporter of Israel, for example. The Jews will burn in hell for killing White Jesus and all, but without the rise of Israel, the Rapture will not be possible. Therefore, Go Israel, you Christ killing heathens!

All of which brings us to the latest chapter in le saga Allen. A reporter at a debate between the candidates had the audacity to ask if there was any truth to rumors that Allen had Jewish heritage. Allen, the master of the art of labelling hate as heritage, was not happy. His face turning redder than the reddest of necks, Allen took deep umbrage at the question; a slander, a cheap trick designed to hurt him politically he cried! How dare you affiliate me with those people! Have you no decency? Ok, yes, I'm a teensy weensy bit Jewish, but not culturally, and even though I've used my grandfather's internment in Nazi concentration camps to win points through out my political career, and even though anti-semitism is part of what I peddle under the guise of heritage, it's really no one's business, besides I never knew and well, now that it's been forced out in the open against my will, I love being Jewish, in a distant, not reallly sort of way.

Ah, beloved heritage, thou art a gift and a curse.

From The Master Of Parting ...

Athletes and rappers Fools from their money, the $13,000 Gold Turntable Ring, by Jacob.

I Actually Like Spinach, Really.

Little Rocker!

This 4 year old can jam.

Gotta Run ...

Have a great weekend!

(Photo by Travis Ruse)

Gmail, You're Buggin'

This ad was displayed when I went to check my gmail. I know gmail directs ads based on the content of your emails but WTF? I never talk about crack in writing. For more must have videos, click here.

Two Snaps And A Can Of Raid

Weathermen, the gift that keep on giving.

Don't We Own Iraq?

Then why is Hitler (on the left) hanging with our staff? Hundreds of Billions of Dollars and thousands of Americans lives sure doesn't buy what it used to. Here's Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki. A Shiite to Shiite love fest. For Iranians, the love is understandable, after decades of bitter war and rivalry with Iraq, our take-out of Hussein was a giant wet kiss on the cheek of Iran. In a mind bending moment of anachronistic irony, does this mean that we, the US, installer, employer, and owner of the new Iraqi government, are appeasing the new millenium Hitler? Oy Vey! These appeasement analogies get so confusing!

Animal Deaths, Sad. Animal Deaths in HD, Hot!

I'm a fiscally conservative guy. I've been known to create a mess in Duane Reade rifling through packages of cold medicine just to find the one with 30% More Free! (they're usually in the back, you just have to dig around a bit). And that's just for Dayquil, with major purchases I hem and haw for months, research my eyes out, talk to friends and family, retreat, wait a while, start the process over again, and then, maybe (usually), I pull the trigger.

Despite my penny pinching ways, I recently purchased a new 37 inch LCD HDTV. Once I decided to do it, there was no holding back, and what started out as a relatively budget conscious toe-dip into the world of HDTV became an outright baptism (as my old preacher used to say, "you can't be partially committed to the Lord"; the same holds true for HDTV - in for a penny, in for 300,000). What good is an HDTV, I asked, without a gaming system that could take advantage of all that resolution? What good is a High Def gaming system without a handful of games? What good is an obscenely priced cable package without the added expense of every friggin' HD channel available? Shit, why even bother with High Def TV and games if that beautiful signal won't be travelling through the proper gas-insulated, ferrite core, silver plated cables? It would defeat the purpose. What's the big deal about going $1500 over budget, anyway? It's just, well, you get the picture (in all its silky perfection).

So now, as the proud papa of a new High Def entertainment system, some may wonder, was it worth it? Do the Japanese sell square watermelons? Hell yes, kind of. HDTV kicks ass, but only a few ass. What? Let me explain.

Buying an HDTV has been quite an education. Sites like AVSForum help, but frankly, it becomes clear early on that just about every HD product out there has its pros and cons, its strengths and weaknesses, its loyal supporters and merciless detractors. All that debate can be confusing, and I'm no dummy. Frankly, however, the tech side of the equation only takes you so far, content is the real issue.

You see, while luxuriating in the glow of an HD signal is a truly wonderful experience, the experience is seriously rationed these days. My mega super-duper, maxxed the F out cable package from Time Warner, it of the aforementioned obscene cost, includes a less than overwhelming 17 HD channels, many of which display HD programming only some of the time. Are you with me? PBS, Discovery, HBO, ESPN, are great, but where are the other major networks? In times like these I have no choice but to suspect a conspiracy. It feels like the networks and cable companies are intentionally dragging their feet, delaying HD roll out - and the attendant expense - as long as possible. It's a disgrace. I'm fortunate in that most of what I watch is sports and sports are well represented in HD but I can't help but feel cheated. I want to live in an HD world; right now I feel like a tourist who only visits the major attractions, they're cool and all, but there's so much more to be seen.

Until more content is rolled out I'll find a way to endure. At least a lot of the current programming is educational. Let me tell you, you haven't seen anything until you've seen a pack of hyenas ripping the viscera out of an oh so cute, but tragically unlucky lion cub. Talk about a wow factor. Hakuna Matada, Mutha F#ck#r!

Get Ready For Election Season

9/11

Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge as you left Manhattan, if you looked back, you'd see the Twin Towers emerging over the City skyline. It was a moment I always looked forward to on those late nights coming home from work. As a kid, a would-be architect, I loved the Twin Towers and not only because they were easy to draw, they were special. Twenty years later I still wasn't tired of looking at them. In May of 2001 my mother, and niece and nephew came to visit from Buffalo. After an exhausting day touring Ellis Island and the Statute of Liberty, I decided we should go the top of the World Trade Center. The kids were tired, my mother was skeptical, but I insisted. We all appreciate the memories.

Wait 'Til The Bubble Bursts

By Hugh MacLeod

Honda Accord, Meet Somone With Too Much Money

Pimped out, man! A car like this definitely deserves a You Tube moment, right before it's set on fire.

Take It Off

No, this isn't a Two Live Crew reference, I'm talking about FairUse4WM, a program that allows you to strip your DRM encoded songs - the itunes you bought from apple, for example - for duplication and use as you see fit. Several people have asked me over the years how you can break free of the Apple software scheme, this is one way. By stripping the DRM off your songs, you can play your music on different mp3 players, move files to different hard drives, not be tied to one particular software, etc. If you have an Ipod and try this, let me know how it turns out.

More Bullets Than Charlton Heston

Duck:

• Anyone see the VMAs last night? Lot of booty shakin' going on. Must be tough being a non booty-shaking female in the pop music business.
  
• Anyone read about the cigarette industry's manipulation of nicotine levels over the past decade? Apparently, in the face of a dwindling consumer base, RJ Reynolds and friends have been secretly adding nicotine to cigarettes to make them more addictive. That's one way to keep customers. Now if only I could find a way to make my dwindling readership additcted to Kwotebel ... A weekly boobies feature perhaps?
  
• USA basketball is eliminated from gold medal contention at the World Championships by Greece. Wow. I wonder who'll get blamed. It was much easier for the critics when George Thompson coached the national team, or when players like Allen Iverson were on the team, but here, coached by the virtuous Mike Krzyzewski, and featuring non-threatening players like D. Wade and Shane Battier, who will the venom be directed at? Go USA?
  
• This is the funniest "where babies come from" illustrated book, ever!
  
• Some people complain when professional athletes hold out for higher salaries arguing that the players should be grateful to earn so much more than the average worker. I wish a player had the guts to say: the day millions of people tune in to watch what you do at work you can tell me what's a good salary for me, until then, STFU.
  
• Looks like the weather along the east coast will suck this weekend, nonetheless, enjoy the long weekend.