I've been wanting to add my own work to the Writer's Showcase but I don't write "stories"; this blog is about the limit of what I write. Then I remembered, several years ago some friends and I decided to write and share stories about our fathers; each of us having grown up without one for the most part. My contribution to that exchange was a personal and unsentimental look back at what I remembered about my dad. Prior to this post, I re-read it for the first time in a couple of years. Reliving those memories made me think of several things, more importantly, it gave me a renewed appreciation for the good fathers I know. In particular I want to give a shout out to a good friend, someone who's going through some tough times right now. Despite a raft of troubles that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, this guy's devotion to his children is complete and unwavering. They come first, now and always. He shows that despite our trials and tribulations, our faults and shortcomings, if being a good parent is your first priority, you'll find a way to get the job done. Hang in there, bro.
Here is my story. (At the top of the page, click on the link that says Download File).
Here is my story. (At the top of the page, click on the link that says Download File).
Posts
6 comments:
Big-D--thanks for posting this story. It is really complex and powerful. Even though i read it before, it still moves me. It is so straightfoward and blunt. There is a tragic aspect that you do not dwell on nor ignore but comes out clearly. The dynamics between you and your father, your mother and your father and how you ended up with various responsibilities because of your father's alcoholism are just incredible.
Big D,
I was surprised and happy to see your story. "My story" hits close to home and is very personal -- obviously because I was there too. It reminds me of one visit your father made while my mom, brothers and myself were living with your family in Pine Harbor. Your father bought all of us albums, I think you or rich got Grease and for some reason he gave me Chic's "Le Freak". Is that how it happened???
What came across in your story and I had never realized before was that your father proclaimed your intelligence and abilities very early in life -- through his words and actions -- by leaving you alone on the beach and bragging about your smarts. And at that tender age you capitalized on opportunities and assumed that role by going off to get an education and travel the world later on.
Although our fathers failed us in sooo many ways we should take moments to acknowledge the contriubtions(whether intentionally or not) they have had on our lives.
"My story" tells a lot about you and has more of an impact than you might realize.
Thanks for the feedback. Before posting the story, I thought about re-writing it, applying my recently developed, blog-honed, writing skills, but in the end I chose to go with the original version which in its own right was the product of considerable edits and do-overs. The story was really an effort on my part to move past my father's (life and) death. It was also an effort to catalouge a life, to put it in writing from my point of view before details faded and disappeared. There is a lot that could have been explored more deeply, at the time of writing though, I wasn't too interested in exploration beyond understanding why I felt so little towards him. As for your comment, Nittles, I agree, my father did have an impact. Believe me, I've been horrified on occasion when realizing that I was behaving in a way my father might have - mostly with respect to money and family relations. I suppose there are good things I got from him too, but I'll have to think hard about what those would be. I've wondered sometimes about aspects of my personality that I'm not pleased with and wonder how having a father in my life might have made a difference. But usually I'm just observing these points, I don't hold any grudges or feel I was owed anything other than what I got. That's life. I turned out alright, I think.
yeah you turned out right.
:-)
I second that!
scary how so many of us can write about absentee fathers from a first-hand perspective...we're all very different people but our backgrounds are shockingly similar.
Post a Comment