Thursday, November 30, 2006

While We've Been Busy In Iraq

The Taliban has been flexing in Afghanistan:

The gunmen came at night to drag Mohammed Halim away from his home, in front of his crying children and his wife begging for mercy.

The 46-year-old schoolteacher tried to reassure his family that he would return safely. But his life was over, he was part-disembowelled and then torn apart with his arms and legs tied to motorbikes, the remains put on display as a warning to others against defying Taliban orders to stop educating girls.

Read the rest here. Many of you have probably already read it, but for a tangential yet educational look at the decline of Afghanistan over the last 30 years, check out The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

There's Always A Bigger Fish ...

The boxy bully got one-up'd

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Flashback

This was the bomb back in 1988. It cost the equivalent of $4300 today. For a mere $430 you could add a whopping one megabyte of ram. Unfortunately, your brand new pc did not include a hard drive. Fortunately, you could store endless pages of data on those high capacity floppy disks. How many years before this $2500 computer resembles a low end palm pilot?


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Wait Til He Catches Gigli

From Overheard:

UPS Guy: I swear to you, Joey, I seen a lot of movies in my time and this movie is not to be missed. I swear, it's definitely one of the ten best I've ever seen. And I'm a big movie buff. They have it at Blockbuster -- you have to rent it. It's called Nanny McPhee. You got that? Nanny McPhee.

--34th & Broadway

Incredible Discovery

Archeologists were shocked to see the emergence of a rib from under Big D's blubber. It was revealed as Big D lost a few more pounds. We always suspected he had ribs but frankly, we could never find them. Archeologist hope that this leads to the holy grail that has been hidden for 30 years, the discovery of Big D's adam apple. Hey, if Ann Coulter has one, Big D has to have one too. Stay tuned.

Reason 600,001 ...

Why the Iraqis don't see us as liberators. Assholes.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Not Tom Toles

Friday, November 17, 2006

Off To The Weekend

Sorry for the light posting lately but they've been piling work on Big D like I work here for real (hellooooo, I'm a temp, remember?). But don't sweat it, Big D will prevail. Anyway, have a nice weekend. As for the photo, is it me, or does this guy seem less than enthusiastic about walking down these stairs? Preparing to deal with subway crowds can be depressing.



(photo by Travis Ruse)

Fine Print vs Invisible Ink

Owners in a townhouse community have been prohibited by their homeowners association from smoking inside their home. Two heavy smokers sued to have the rule invalidated - and lost. Apparently the smell of cigarette smoke was leaking into other units. I'm not a cigarette smoker, I don't like the smell, am happy smoking is banned in bars, think Big Tobbacco is corrupt and deserves to be bankrupted out of existence, but banning smoking IN YOUR OWN FREAKIN' HOME???? And, while I think you make a deal with the devil when you buy property governed by an association (coops here in the city), and you must understand that you are buying property with diminished rights, could the people in this case have forseen this? Which brings up the other side of the coin, if like minded people want to get together to build a smoke free community, as long as everyone knows in advance, go for it. This is a perversion of what property rights have historically meant. To impose these rules post facto on the basis of a homeowner's agreement that was never intended to cover events like this strikes me as unjust. First and last show of sympathy for smokers by Big D.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Neat

This is real. It's a hotel room in Berlin designed to give the illusion of a cartoon drawing. I stayed at a hotel like this in Amsterdam, every room was designed by a different artist - no two rooms were alike. This would be a great project to try for a kid's room.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Rollin' on Deuce Sixes

I'm sure there's a good explanation for this car.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Wing Man (for blame)

Most guys need to have wronged a woman (real or perceived) before they've earned her scorn. Not me. I have the dubious honor of being on the hit lists of numerous women who I'm not married to or dating. These women, the wives and girlfriends of friends, have it in for me big time. Why? Am I cheating on them? Well no, we're just friends. Have I been breaking promises to them? Nope, no promises made, no promises broken. Am I an inconsiderate lover? Never - to them. No, nothing I've done justifies the scorn; I'm scorned because of what the boyfriends and husbands of these women blame me for (with a handy translation just below)

Honey, I would have been home on time but Dave wanted to hang out a little later
.
What's the big deal, it's not that late

Sweetie, I know I promised I'd stop smoking so much but Dave didn't want to smoke alone
.
I didn't want to smoke alone

Of course I'd rather spend time with the family tonight but I'm worried that Dave is really down and needs some support.
I need some time away from the family

I tried to get Dave to plan the vacation to Amish country, but he insisted we go to Amsterdam.
What's wrong with Amsterdam?

Baby, I didn't realize I missed your call, Dave's apartment gets horrible cell phone reception.
I purposely ignored your call

Honey, Dave never told me there were gonna be strippers at the party. You know how inconsiderate he is!
Thank God Dave got the strippers.

Worse, these guys sometimes start believing the lies they make up about me. I've been chastised for not acknowledging the valid points made by their wives. "You've got to admit Dave, it's not unreasonable for her to want me to spend more time at home." Then go home motherfucker! Why are you telling me? Tell her.

Whatever, I love my friends. I'm glad that they look forward to hanging out with me and even getting in trouble at home in order to do it. But seriously, man up fellas, you guys are making your wives direct a lot of negative karma at me. It'd be nice to know that if one of your wives saw me on the side of the road one day in need of help, she'd stop and give a brother a ride.

PS: If any of my friend's wives happen to read this post, I'm not talking about your husband.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Glad I Was Wrong

Jim Webb has defeated the apologist for American treason. Hasta Maccaca!


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Embrace It Ladies

Bimbette #1: Cancun is just a place for girls to go to on Spring break and be the whores that they really are.
Bimbette #2: Oh my God, I know! We should go there next year!
Bimbette #1: Totally!

--45th St & 5th Ave

via Overheard in New York, Nov 9, 2006

Pennies For My Thoughts

Eagle-eyed readers will notice the new Google ad box on the right. I think I have enough traffic to generate about $.25 annually. At that rate, I should be able to treat myself to a tall Starbucks coffee by 2015 or so. Damn, I just realized a tall will probably cost a bit more by then. Ok, by 2020 I should be good to go.

Good Idea

This wall safe is a great idea but maybe not the solution for those whose memory isn't what it used to be. I'm thinking of you, mom.

The Best*

I was browsing through a discussion over at Daily Heights (a message board concerning my old neighborhood, Prospect Heights), about the maneuvers parents undertook to get their children admitted to the best* public schools, and was struck by this comment:

"... I think this is an aspect of NYC life that goes beyond schools -- people also act this way about their choice of doctor, neighborhood, etc. It just grows out of this overarching sense that New York is a competition to the death for limited resources, that there can only be one Good Enough Choice in any given decision and everyone else is screwed. "

I think the commenter summed up perfectly a peculiar aspect of living in New York - not just the hunt for the best*, but the passion with which those labels are professed and defended. I see it often with food: to have a favorite pizza in New York is not just to like it, but to claim it vigorously as the best*. In other aspects of life, claiming best* status takes on entirely different dimensions. The scramble for education strikes me as surreal; parents pay thousands to advisors to help their toddlers get into the best* preschools. I can't blame these parents for doing what they think is right for their families but I do find it a touch insulting that the pursuits of these well off folks overshadow the struggles that the vast majority of New Yorkers face who don't have the means or access to these resources.

Competition exists in other markets but it seems exacerbated in New York because of the combination of a so many high achieving, ambitious and well off people. Additionally, the vast amount of choices available in New York seems to cause stress - perhaps the best* label is a coping mechanism. I made the right choice because it's - x, y, z, whatever - the best*.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the best* for yourself and family, it just seems delusional and self serving to think that you're getting it or that it's even attainable. A couple of years ago I was referred to a great dentist, he was the best dentist I've ever had, and objectively very good. Was he the best* dentist in New York? Doubtful, but who cares? I was happy to have found a good dentist.

It seems to me people find comfort in wholly irrelevant classifications when what's really important is getting the service, product, experience you want, at a price you feel is fair (or great).

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Truth In Advertising

The 8,000 calorie Quadruple Bypass Burger.

One More Thing

Congratulations to Nancy Pelosi for becoming (soon) the first female Speaker of the House. I heard one analyst say - but haven't confirmed - that after this election there will be 70+ women elected to Congress. Similarly, congrats to Patrick Deval who became the first African American governor in Massachusetts - amazingly, he is only the second African American governor in the country since Reconstruction. The diversification of our leadership is a good sign that long standing preconceptions about the abilities of women and people of color to lead are being discarded by voters in more and more states.

We Voted

Despite all the Democratic success last night, the three major races I profiled on this site - Lieberman/Lamont (CT Senate), Corker/Ford (TN Senate), and, Webb/Allen (VA Senate) - did not go as I had hoped though the VA race won't be final for several days. Nonetheless, with a virtually even Senate, a Republican President, and Democratic House, the system of checks and balances that our government needs to thrive would appear to be restored. It felt good to see so many "blue" candidates win last night, to see that the administration's slanderous labelling of Democrats as traitors did not stick, that people aren't as dumb as Karl Rove thinks. It also felt good to put to rest the meme that was voiced after the 2004 elections that the Democratic party was destined for permanent minority status. Such are the utterances of a party drunk on their own power and blinded to how seriously citizens take corruption. This is a moment in time that I hope the victors capitalize on, not for the benefit of the party, but for the benefit of all of us.

Monday, November 06, 2006

It's All Been Said, Just Vote

So much has been written about the upcoming election that I'll keep it simple: during the last six years, Republicans have controlled every aspect of our national government; our foreign and domestic policies. If you're happy with the job they've done, if you believe their vision is the correct one for America, vote for them. If not, vote Democratic.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Inevitable Hypocrisy

The church I attended as a kid was led by a fiery and energetic pastor named John Bartlett. He built up the church, located in Tonawanda, NY, a town outside of Buffalo, by recruiting people like my family from the inner city. The church sent school buses (painted with the church's colors and logo - "The Lighthouse Baptist Church"), to pick up congregants who didn't have cars and would otherwise be unable to attend service. At its peak, the church had a fleet of 10 buses. It was an impressive accomplishment. Bartlett took the church from a membership of 100 or so when my family joined, to about 400-500 members.

Bartlett was a good preacher - he knew the scripture, had passion and energy, and had a knack for cultivating new parishioners. Bartlett's take on the scriptures is why I couldn't listen to worldly music as a kid. There was no gray area in the bible, you were either with the lord or with the world. My mom was decidedly in the pro lord camp. For about 8-9 years we attended Sunday morning services and often Sunday evening services as well, and during certain periods in those years we also attended Wednesday evening services, Thursday evening AWANA (a more christian version of the Boy Scouts), Friday evening basketball night (the church compound had a gym), and and occasionally did the knocking on doors thing on Saturday mornings.

Suffice to say, we were deeply enmeshed within the church and for me, opportunities to recuse myself were limited. My stroke of luck, the event that enabled me to assert my independence, was when Pastor Bartlett, the married father of three kids, took off to Florida with the wife of a church deacon (she left behind 5 kids). For my mother and many of the other city families in particular, this was a fatal betrayal. Within weeks, the Puerto Rican contingent, of which we were an original part, had shifted to a doctrinally similar Spanish language church located a few blocks from where my family lived. I think I attended service there twice before asserting that my lack of fluency in Spanish made my attendance pointless. At this point, my mother just gave up I think.

The armchair psychologists among you may be wondering whether Bartlett's gross hypocrisy is what turned me off to religion, it didn't. Credit for that goes to my free mind. What my experience with the Lighthouse Baptist Church did was expose me to the hypocrisy and danger of fundamentalist religions. Fundamentalists believe the bible, koran, torah, etc. - books written by men long after their respective prophets were dead - to be the inerrant word of God, to be followed without compromise (that each major faith feels the same thing about their particular book of rules only means everyone who thinks differently is good hearted, but misguided). The bible and other books are the absolute word of God to be obeyed, or else. But absolutism is an unwise and impossible ideal in most instances, and striving for it often comes at a heavy price. The people who listen to these sermons believe them, and like any message that gets repeated over and over, like any message told with conviction, they're adopted and internalized by many, and given the role that the afterlife plays in religion, the dangers of its misuse are apparent.

All of this brings me to the news that Ted Haggard, leader of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the 30 million member National Association of Evangelicals, has stepped down after his affairs and drug use with a gay prostitute were revealed. Like Bartlett, Haggard is a real bright line guy, a with the lord or with the world type of fella, someone who believes the bible is perfect. It probably doesn't need to be said .... but of course, Haggard was a leading proponent of laws that sought to deny gay people the right to marry and professed that homosexuality is an abomination.

My big problem with Haggard, is not that he's a massive hypocrite or that he's been lying to thousands of his earnest believers and abusing the trust of the people he claims to care about (though they may care), it's that his version of Christianity has been steadily rising in influence in our government over the last six years - Haggard speaks to President Bush weekly. People like Haggard are influencing policies that affect us all and that's personally scary as well as irreconcilable with our constitution. The version of Christianity that Haggard preaches puts us in the position of having, for example, churches fighting for exemptions to non-discrimination laws so that they can deny their employees health insurance for reproductive services, while the leaders of these churches, like Haggard or the Cahtolic priests, don't practice what they preach behind closed doors. Accross the country, Haggard and people of his ilk have been waging fierce campaigns to replace science with theology in our public schools. We're distracted by campaigns that warn us of wars against Christmas while criticisms against the handling of the real war we're in are chalked up to hysterical anti-Bush hatred. Killing abortion providers becomes the lesser of two evils and while Haggard may not approve of such conduct, the theological underpinnings of the murderer's acts are similar to what Haggard preaches.

Religion cannot be held accountable for what crazy people do in its name, but the rest of us need to be accountable when we allow religion to gain new footholds in our government and civic institutions. We live in a free country so pray how you see fit, just keep your mythology and INEVITABLE hypocrisy out of my government and the laws that govern this land.

KFC And Wine, Oh So Fine

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Don't Lend Them Money Either

Hispanic thug #1: You have to hit a kid to teach him respect.
Hispanic thug #2: That doesn't work
Hispanic thug #1: Sure it does, remember when I stole that stuff when I was younger and dad hit me? That taught me the respect that I needed not to steal
Hispanic thug #2: You still steal.
Hispanic thug #1: Yeah, but not from my family.

--Downtown 4


via Overheard in New York, Oct 28, 2006

I've Got My Issues With Teddy (Update)

Update: I forgot the golden rule of comparing and constrasting. On the one hand we've got President Teddy Roosevelt's classic defense of democracy and free speech, to wit:
“To announce there must be no criticism of the President, and to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, it is morally treasonous to the American public.”


And then we have President George Bush:

"However they put it, the Democrat approach in Iraq comes down to this: The terrorists win and America loses"

I wonder which statement will be cited as an example of strong American democratic principles 80 years from now?

Is This Offensive? (Updated)(Update II)

Update II: The Silverbacks are still the Silverbacks, but they have a new logo. Smart move. Keep the community happy and avoid controversy. The team initially took a defiant tact but wised up. Why? $$$$ Time to sell tickets! The new logo:



[The Old Logo] Buffalo's new minor league basketball team, the Silverbacks.


UPDATE I: I asked whether the above logo and name were offensive because of the history of comparing African Americans to gorillas, monkeys, and other primates, and relatedly, the general de-humanization of Black people thoughout history. I think the logo is offensive, but mostly just reflects poor taste and questionable marketing. Coincidentally there was an article in Sunday's NY Times about an ill-fated exihibit put on by the Bronx Zoo in 1906. The exhibit featured a Congolese pygmy named Ota Benga, a survivor of the Congan holocaust (see below), who was purchased from captors, brought to the US and ultimately "displayed" alongside various primates. That was 100 years ago but clearly the slur has not been completely erased from public consciousness. So I ask again: should a majority African American sports team bear a logo and name that ignores history and perpetuates degrading sterotypes?

Regarding the Congan Holocaust, here's a summary I wrote a few years ago of an excellent biography of King Leopold of Belgium - the man behind the world's least known genocide:


King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild: 10 Million Cheers for Colonialism? Less than 50 years after agents of King Leopold had murdered, raped, tortured, mutilated, and brutalized half of the population of the Congo, Congolese schoolchildren were taught from Belgium drafted textbooks that Leopold was the benevolent father figure of their country.

Hochschild has written a history that reads with the ease of a newspaper about a subject that has been buried in the annals of mis-history. 10 million Africans were killed for the enrichment of one man and his partners and yet most people have never heard of this story! That this genocide is virtually unknown to most people is a sad reminder of how much injustice has been perpetuated upon Africans over the centuries that has been "forgotten."

Among the more fascinating aspects of this book are the profiles of the leaders of the human rights movement, white and black, who at the turn of the century showed incredible courage and integrity in fighting against political and journalistic malfeasance, bribery, and significant risks to their own lives, in order to expose to the world the magnitude of the Belgium atrocities committed in the Congo.

Dinesh D'Souza, to whom my "cheers" sentence refers, is among those who seek to deny or downplay the crimes committed by or for colonialists. Hopefully this book will cast too bright a light for such distortions of the truth to prevail. An enlightening book that I highly recommend.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Left Me A Little Misty Eyed

The Road by Cormac McCarthy (2006)

In the (near) post apocalyptic future, a nameless father and his young son travel westward. The world - the Earth - is dead; the skies are dark and cloudy, poison fills the air, the soil, and waters. Human survivors are few and many have succumbed to cannibalism; there is no food except for the stray canned goods that have escaped the clutches of earlier scavengers. Survival hardly seems like a prize yet the father pushes forward through cold, rain and misery; staying off the roads, scavenging through abandoned homes and buildings for food, fuel, and other useful items, all while keeping a loaded pistol by his side. The threat of capture provides constant tension and requires that the father plan for the unthinkable; he won't let them take his son alive. The horror of killing his own child is easier to process than the thought of his child being captured, tortured, raped, or eaten alive.

The young son is no mere bystander in this tale. Never having known the world as it existed, of the nature of man before man destroyed the world, his innocence and yearning for kindness, friendship, trust, and safety reveals, literally through the mouths of babes, what all humans are born seeking.

It is in this nightmare of a world that a very touching story emerges about a father and son, about pushing forward, about love and about hope. In a hopeless world, love provides the reason to survive. The Road lacks the haunting abstract prose I have to come expect (and love) from McCarthy, in fact I didn't find the writing to be particularly "special," yet the story is truly moving and hard to put down (and haunting). I finished it in 4 days. Though sad and tragic, the story provides ground for hope as well. I think parents, especially fathers, will be deeply affected. I'm only an uncle and I was.