Friday, September 26, 2008

Just Say No, Seriously

Amy Winehouse, like a fine wine rotting corpse, aged four years


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Embrace It Obama!

Friday, September 19, 2008

It's Not Lying, It's Fine Print

This product doesn't quite measure up to its advertising:

Modern Art Blows


This is an actual police sketch of a suspect in a kidnapping. The absurdity of this sketch overshadows some other crazy facts about this case. Namely, the 300 pound victim who said he was kidnapped by a 5' 5" assailant.

Don't Be So Gullible

This may look like your run of the mill, politician with kid photo-op, but I know a terrorist kid hug when I see one. After gaining his trust, Obama schooled him the art of the terrorist fist bump. Young man, when you see a brother on the street, give him the fist bump, praise Allah, and say down with whitey!


Monday, September 15, 2008

As Always, Dead On

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm Qualified, Trust Me

In the early days of my temp career, the types of projects I worked on did not require that I interview. A resume was often sufficient to convey my qualifications for the typically mundane work being offered.

Modest though I am, I think it was pretty self evident that I could, oh, say, READ.

Over time, more scrutiny was applied; some jobs required phone interviews, some involved brief face to face interviews. At this point in my career, I tend to apply for projects that require a degree of experience and interviewing with 2-3 people is common. The "no-interview" jobs are out still out there, I've fortunately moved past them. I don't blame companies for wanting to know more about me, my qualifications, my demeanor and personality, how I present myself, and so on. On the one hand, I'm only a temp, fireable at will, given limited access to the firm's property and information - a tiny investment in the big scheme of things, but in these companies defense, an un-vetted temp attorney such as myself could wind up being a drain on time and resources and heaven forbid I abscond with company paper clips and post it notes.

If it's prudent to perform due diligence before hiring a meager temp employee such as myself, don't WE THE PEOPLE have the right to ask a few questions of our vice presidential candidates??? Even the semi-literate Bush and his secretive Vice President answered a few questions when they ran for office. The media isn't fair, the McCain camp explains (over and over). Deal with it and prove your critics wrong.

I'm not worried though, eventually, spontaneous sentences will have to be formed ...

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

My Empire

Brilliant

The common household outlet made 50% better.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Life Is Short, Have An Affair

I saw a commercial for Ashley Madison in the wee hours one night and thought maybe I misinterpreted the service. It appeared to be offering married men a discreet dating service. As you can tell by their tag line above, that's exactly what they meant. For those interested in learning more but who don't want to leave evidence of visiting the site on their computer, click on the screen capture below. Not that I'm encouraging anything.


Thursday, September 04, 2008

Politicians Say The Darndest Things

Here is a video of the Rove comments (and others) as presented on the Daily Show. Chuckles galore.


Wednesday, September 03, 2008

All Rove Needed Was A Good Editor

A month ago while speculating about who Obama might choose as his running mate, Karl Rove offered the following prophetic words on what Obama's selection of Governor Tim Kaine would mean. As we all know Obama chose Biden but Rove's work should not go to waste. Let's see what happens when we substitute McCain for Obama, Palin for Warner, she for he, and Alaska for Virginia. OMG, I can't believe it but I agree 100% with Karl Rove. Never thought I'd say that (to make this easier I've edited Rove's statement for you):
"With all due respect, again, to Governor KainePalin, [s]he's been a governor for three years. [s]He's been able, but undistinguished. I don't think people could really name a big, important thing that [s]he's done. [s]He was mayor of the 10[0]5th-largest city in America. And, again, with all due respect to Richmond, VirginiaWasilla, Alaska, it's smaller than Chula Vista, California, Aurora, Colorado, Mesa or Gilbert, Arizona, North Las Vegas, or Henderson, Nevada. It's not a big town. If he were to pick Governor KainePalin, it would be an intensely political choice, where he's said, 'You know what? I'm really not first and foremost concerned with, is this person capable of being president of the United States? What I'm concerned about is, can [s]he bring me the electoral votes of the state of Virginia, the 13 electoral votes in Virginiathe easily manipulated?'"
Well said Rovie.

Thanks, Andrew

I'm too lazy to live blog Palin's speech so here's Andrew Sullivan's take (start at the bottom):

11.10 pm. Reality television has become our politics.

11.06 pm. Both Huckabee and Palin have used the t-word. Of course, they are not criminally liable, as Bush is.

11.05 pm. Every time the camera pans to McCain's mother, she seems mortified. I don't really blame her. Can you imagine what she was thinking as a tiny special needs baby is passed from person to person for the cable news.

11.03 pm. However admirable it is to be a mayor, is it really necessary to drip contempt for people who work as community organizers? It seems to me that Palin doesn't quite have the stature to be putting down someone who has won millions of people's votes. This is a much more partisan speech than I was expecting.

11.00 pm Styrofoam pillars; and self-designed seals. And her lip curls.

10.58 pm. Now it's about big government - which Republicans have exploded in size. But no one can notice the actual record of the GOP in growing government and increasing debt. That would be too much accountability.

10.56 pm. Obama wants to reduce American power and prevent energy production. The mockery of Obama from Palin is striking. I don't recall anyone mocking McCain at the DNC.

10.53 pm. Drill, baby, drill! I may be just revealing that I'm out of touch, but I don't see why laying pipelines is now a core rallying cry of American conservatism.

10.50 pm. I have to say that the affect is of someone running for high school president.

10.49 pm. Piper is poking Trig in the eye!

10.48 pm. Ethics reform is her first policy proposal.

10.47 pm. She has this weird tick of scrunching up her face to make a forceful point. Kinda Tracy Flicky.

10.44 pm. Palin echoes Giuliani's attack on "cosmopolitan" elites. All the buzzwords are there. Elite. Elite. Elite. This is a culture war speech - and she is becoming a symbol of red America. This is what they have to do top win: divide and polarize again. We are half way through, by the way, and we have not heard a single policy proposal. But we have heard contempt for someone who works as a community organizer in the South Side of Chicago.

10.40 pm. We've just seen a picture of a seven year old cradling and stroking the hair of a Down Syndrome infant. This, apparently, is relevant to deciding who should be the next vice-president of the United States.

10.39 pm. I'm just slack-jawed that, so far, the entire speech has been basically about her family. She seems as if she just won a reality show and is introducing her folks. And they have passed the baby now to four different people - including another child. Slack-jawed.

The View ...

Is not bad. From Sunset Park, BK


Monday, September 01, 2008

Less Fire! Less Fire!

The Jerk chicken was hot, but not too hot. It was only when I tried the scotch bonnet hot sauce that I realized I was out of my league. Fortunately, a savvy water vendor had set up next to the Jerk Chicken vendor and two bottles of water later my heart rate had returned to normal.

My burnt taste buds notwithstanding, the West Indian Day Parade was a lot of fun this year. Great weather, great food, and a lot of booty shakin. The only thing missing was beer. I remember when I first moved to NY and lived on the parade route, there was nothing better than a cold Red Stripe with my curry goat. These days booze is verboten from parades. Oh well.

It wasn't all fun and games; I was working. Most of you don't know this but among my many talents, I'm also a filmmaker. For all my loyal fans, I present below the world premiere of Less Fire! Less Fire!