Is That Marvin?

FAIRFAX, VA—Fairfax resident and Save-A-Child sponsor Gene Anderson withheld his monthly $18 contribution from his Zimbabwean child, Mtumbe Chigumbura, in order to teach him a lesson in responsibility ...

"Dear Mother and Father Anderson," the most recent letter read, "Thank you once again for your generous gift. I was able to get my [immunization] shots and enough milk and flour to feed myself and to buy some new clothes for school. Because milk was cheaper this month, I had a little money left over and was able [to buy materials] to fix my football, or, as you call it in America, soccer ball."

"I don't expect him to know everything about money, what with out of control inflation forcing his country back towards a barter system" Anderson said. "But if Mtumbe wants to better his lot in life, he needs to start socking a little away for the future, not wasting it on every little fancy and childish whim."

Read the rest at La Cebolla

Keep That Thought To Yourself?

A case in Brooklyn raises questions about hate crime laws. Today, a Brooklyn man was sentenced to 15 years for a baseball bat attack on a black man. The pepetrator shouted a racial slur while beating the victim (who admitted to police that he was in the neighborhood looking for cars to steal). Because the case was categorized as a hate crime, the pepetrator received a much stiffer sentence than if no racial slur been used.

On the one hand I understand the historical need to protect minorities and other groups from crimes directed at them soley b/c of their skin color, nationality, sexual orientation, etc. I think that historically the problem wasn't merely that "hate" crimes were being committed against minorities, it was that those crimes often went unpunished or were only lightly punished. It was open season on minorities and perhaps the data demonstrates that hate crime laws - with their harsh punishments - have had a detterrent effect on the incidence of such crimes.

On the other hand, a thuggish act is a thuggish act and absent a widespread campaign of violence and/or intimidation against a particular group, I'm not sure I agree that identical acts of violence should be punished more severely because of the pepetrator's motivation for committing the crime. What if the pepetrator had thought racist thoughts but not uttered them? Would the harm caused by his acts been any less? What if the perpetrator in this case had denied ever using such slurs? What about situations when the perpetrator is a member of the same protected group as his victim? Are we to believe, for example, that never in the history of crime has a black perpetrator uttered a racial slur at his black victim? In such an instance, would the crime be classified as a hate crime? These seeming inconsistencies are troubling if you believe that we should be moving towards a more uniform system of justice that punishes crimes without regard to the race or status of the perpetrator or the victim.

One of the problems with hate crime laws is the misperception that they create (for the first time in our history) a class of super victims; people whom, by virture of their very existence, have extra protection under the law. This seems unfair to some, but in truth, it's not an uncommon application of the law. Many groups in our society are given special protections and in most cases the public policy value of those distinctions goes unquestioned. Most people, for example, don't have a problem with the fact that the penalties for assaulting police officers are harsher than the penalties for assaulting civilians. Ditto for laws protecting children and women.

I think a part of the problem is that hate crime laws are imperfect. Absent special circumstances, they seem no better at enforcing societal norms and values than do traditional laws. I find it a touch ironic, however, that most folks against hate crimes laws tend to be from the law and order side of the aisle. Not the kind of folks who tend to lose sleep over the punishments handed out to criminals. This incongruity leads one to believe that the real issue is not justice in the abstract, but other deeper seated concerns about who gets punished for what; an issue that goes back to day one in our country and for which there can be no denial that race has been an integral part. There's further irony of course in the fact that perhaps the first hate crime laws were the white slave laws which made white women a special class under the law.

Mostly though, the truth that seems to get lost in the debate is that laws are local. Crimes are not uniformly punished across states. A robbery in New York that might result in a 5 year sentence might result in a 20 year sentence in Texas. Even within jurisdictions, there has long existed differences in the penalties handed out for similar crimes (penalties for dealing crack vs. powdered cocaine come to mind). Further, the practice of weighing the intent/motivation of a perpetrator is not something foreign to our system; our penal code is full of graduated penalties based on the intent of the criminal. Hate crime laws are not perfect and there may very well be reasons to revisit the need for them in our current system but not for the reasons most of their opponents believe.

Cage Match

Question: What would happen if we put Jehovah Witnesses, Scientologists, and Jews for Jesus in a cage match?
Answer: The Devil would laugh his ass off.
Partial Credit: Vince McMahon would sell it on PPV for $29.95
Honorable Mention: Big D would be able to sleep in on Saturdays.

Brooklynites

While visiting the ruins at Coba in Mexico, I met an elderly couple from Germany. When I told them I was from Brooklyn they responded "oh it's so dangerous there." Trying to explain the diversity of Brooklyn was a task I wasn't quite up to at the time. This series of photos and essays about Brooklyn and it's famous and not so famous residents provides a nice snapshot. Link.

Mama Mia!

Some are curious to know how my weekend pizza making went - my pizza kicked ass!

I started by making whole wheat dough which I learned is really only partially whole wheat. Every wheat dough recipe I found contains white flour as well as wheat flour. The recipe I chose had a higher ratio of wheat flour (2 cups) than white flour (1 1/2 cups) which was the best compromise I could find. Making the dough was simple enough, but you need to be prepared to spend a couple of hours proofing the dough and also, be prepared for a mess on your floors and counters.

Once the dough was ready, I found achieving a circular pie to be problematic. Part of the problem was my lack of experience working with dough. I kept rolling and rolling until I was left with a paper thin dough that broke apart when I tried to pick it up. Eventually I learned to stop rolling before the dough got too thin and also realized that there was no shame in making rectangular pies so - problem solved.

Topping my vaguely rectangular shaped pizzas was a homemade sauce that I made with tomato sauce, tomato paste, fresh garlic, fresh rosemary, salt, pepper, and oregano. For toppings I stayed pretty traditional: mozzarella, pepperoni, mushrooms, basil, and some grated parmesean cheese for an extra kick. Through trial and error I learned that it's best to add fresh herbs when the pie is already at least half cooked to prevent them from burning. With a little more trial and error (using the leftover dough and sauce that I froze), I think Big D's Mostly Wheat Pizza Shack will be in business.

The big surprise is that my first run at this produced pizza that was easily better than some of the pizzeria slices I've had. It wasn't that hard which makes you wonder how the crappy slice places survive.

Do Me A Favor - Have A Great Weekend!

It's nearly quitting time for me and though I can't say that this week has been particularly difficult, I've been anxious for it to end. Lately, the prospect of an entire weekend off to do whatever it is I want to do seems like a much bigger prize than it used to. It's not like I'll be sleeping in either, it's really more a matter of choice and freedom (though that seems like way too huge a word). Having time, even for errands, feels good. Having time for special projects has me almost giddy - case in point, I purchased a pizza stone a while back but have yet to make any homemade pizza. This weekend, I'll give it a shot (whole wheat of course). Catching up with friends, another good one :-) Whatever it is I'm going to do, I just appreciate the time and opportunity to do it. So on that note, enjoy the time you have, the projects you tackle, the people you see, and put those work week worries aide. Hasta luego!

Don't Die (If you're famous)

Because your family will eventually try to squeeze every last cent out of your name and fame. It's even more egregrious when you consider Hendrix's well documented troubles with alchohol:

"Jimi was also notorious among friends and bandmates for becoming angry and violent when he drank alcohol. Kathy Etchingham spoke of an incident that took place in a London pub in which an intoxicated Hendrix beat her with a public telephone handset because he thought she was calling another man on the payphone. Alcohol was also cited as the cause of Hendrix's 1968 rampage that destroyed a Stockholm hotel room and led to his arrest there. Carmen Borrero revealed that while drunk, Jimi once threw a glass vodka bottle at her, which shattered when it struck her face. Musician Paul Caruso's friendship with Hendrix ended in 1970 when Jimi punched him during an alcohol-fueled argument." (from Wiki)

Who Knew Barbaro Is A Blond Woman?

Normally horses with bad hoofs - even Kentucky Derby winners - don't merit all this media attention. Geez, move on people, perhaps there are more important stories to report on? Besides, there's glue to be made ...

Photo of horse in question.

Two Faced Pussy

What do you want to do? No, what do you want to do?

Priorities

"Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down. There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing."

---David Letterman

How To Spot A Jap - And Kill Them

This was distributed to soldiers stationed in China in 1942. (click to enlarge)

Read the entire guide here.

Newsflash - They're Not Listening

From Overheard:

Subway conductor: Please enter the train as human beings, not wild animals.

Bobby Flay Is A Liar

Last night I got out of work early and decided to cook. Remembering a Boy meets Grill episode involving a mustard glazed beef tenderloin, I looked up the recipe and went shopping. The glaze consists of grain mustard, dijon mustard, honey, soy sauce, white wine vinegar, salt, pepper, paprika, fresh garlic and fresh rosemary. You let those ingredients meld together for at least 30 minutes and then glaze your meat and cook. Granted, I was working on a stove and not a grill, and I think buying a lesser cut of meat really hurt me, but I have to say, this was not too great. The way it looks on tv when Bobby Flay makes you think it will be out of this world. Not so much. Then again, it was probably just me. Lesson learned: just b/c professional chefs with top shelf ingredients make everything look so easy on tv doesn't mean it will taste good when you make it.

RIP Big Baby Jesus

Nice Mural in Bed Stuy

A Stunning CGI Recreation

Not exactly, but here's the Zidane headbutt in Lego

Finally, I Can Move On

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco (1983)

I hate not finishing books I’ve started reading. I’ve done it a couple of times – Cold Mountain and Sabbath’s Theater are two prime examples – but generally I force myself to finish whatever I start. Forcing myself is how I’d describe the last two months with The Name of the Rose. A highly regarded novel by a highly regarded novelist that I found a chore to read.

This book was described to me as a sort of (intelligent) precursor to the Da Vinci Code. A religious based mystery novel but concerning itself with a different mystery – the strange and criminal happenings at a famed monastery in 14th century Italy. Can our hero, a brilliant Sherlock Holmes-esq character solve the mystery before anyone else is killed? Will the competing forces for control of the Church destroy each other? Can the wealth and treasures of the Church be reconciled with the life of poverty Jesus led? Will the Waldesians, Minorites, devotees of Francis Bacon and Thomas Aquinas, the Italians and French, and other parties ever reconcile? Do you care? I don’t and I read the damn book.

I recognize that I’m a blasphemous heathen so perhaps those more excited about the history of the Catholic Church, the role of monasteries as repositories of knowledge during the dark ages, the philosophical arguments underpinning key aspects of Church dogma, will dig this book. Unfortunately even the detective/mystery parts of the book left a little to be desired – I didn’t understand many of the “ah-hah” moments because many of the clues were in Latin or they were just too much like mensa puzzles for my limited faculties. Umberto Eco is clearly an intelligent and scholarly man and I know he has a well deserved reputation around the world but this simply wasn’t the book for me. Perhaps a fan of Eco will shed light on what I missed.

Trash-tastic!

Britney Spears unavailable for comment

Good Morning

Random thoughts on a light blogging morning:

• I thought the World Cup finale was great. I watched more Cup games this year than ever before and can see myself getting even more into the 2010 Cup - to be held in South Africa no less.
  
• It's a beautiful summer morning so why did I have random thoughts of winter on my way to work? Something to do with getting older I think.
  
• My VOIP home phone is down. If you've left me a voicemail at home in the last two weeks and I haven't gotten back to you, my bad. To those who I've recommended VOIP fret not, the service works fine, my "gizmo" is malfunctioning and I haven't had time to call SunRocket. I should have a new gizmo in a few days and be back up and running. In the meanwhile, hit me on the cell.
  
• Anyone have thoughts on last night's new episode of the Chappelle Show? I think I need to see it again b/c I didn't find it all that funny and somehow I don't think that's right.
  
• Not expecting any tears from you all but my run of banking with perks that started when I was a law firm associate has finally come to an end and it sucks. When I got out of law school I was hooked up with a private banking account at Citibank as a benefit of being a firm associate. Basically, the best services and interest rates available without any monthly fees or min. balances. When I left firm practice in 2001 I thought I'd be cut off but somehow I stayed under the radar. Until now. Now, Citibank is charging me hella fees. Time to change banks. Anybody want to recommend a no-fee bank that doesn't require min. balances?
  
• Home Run Derby tonight. Watch steroid-free* players hit moon shots.

Slick Deals

Dell is running a nice promotion for the next 10 days. You can pick up a basic laptop for about $500. Not a laptop capable of hardcore gaming or video editing, but perfectly suitable for work/school type uses. And for the real penny pinchers out there (like me), once you're ready to complete your purchase, check ebay for coupons. Dell customers often get coupons like $35 off $300 and sell them on ebay for $1. Check it out. My work here is done.

Time To Charge The FBI With Treason

Apparently the FBI has been checking out Osama's myspace page and found out about a plot to blow up the Holland Tunnel. Great job FBI, but why'd you have to fuck it up by admitting that you've been monitoring the internet? Now the terrorists know we're watching them! The terrorists will probably start encrpyting their messages in pig latin to keep us off the trail. Damn you FBI, why do you hate freedom? Clearly, before you announced that you were monitoring the internet, why I bet it never crossed the minds of these evil doers that their conversations might be monitored. Never.

To those perplexed by my sarcasm, read up on the right's outrage over the NY Times decision to disclose the existence of a not so secret federal program to monitor bank transaction of suspected terrorists. By their own standards, the right should be calling for the stoning of every FBI agent involved in this bust.

Where's J. Edgar Hoover when you need him? What's that, he's at the 2000th Annual Drag Ball and Fashion Show in the 9th Circle of Hell? Oh well, never-mind, he's busy.

I'm Getting Old

Today I pulled out a grey nose hair. Also, my balls are hanging way low lately.

On Patriotism

E.J. Dionne at the Washington Post has a good article on the patriotism of the left.

The patriotism of the conservative goes unquestioned. It's assumed that every politician on the right will wear a flag on his lapel and effortlessly hold forth on ours as "the greatest country in the history of the world." ...

But the progressive and the reformer have a problem with what passes for unadulterated patriotism. By nature, the reformer is bound to insist that the country, however glorious, is not a perfect place, that it is capable of doing wrong as well as right. The nation that declared "all men are created equal" was, at the time those words were written, the home of an extensive system of slavery.

Most reformers guard their patriotic credentials by moving quickly to the next logical step: that the true genius of America has always been its capacity for self-correction. I'd assert that this is a better argument for patriotism than any effort to pretend that the Almighty has marked us as the world's first flawless nation.

Read the entire article here.

I Doubt He's Playing Mario Kart

Call the Feds

Photo by Travis Ruse

Ladies - Have You Gotten The Memo?

I've been coming up pretty short lately regarding blog topics. Then, out of nowhere, white Jesus blessed me with the Prarie Muffin Manifesto. Hallelujah! Some key points of the mainfesto below:

3) Prairie Muffins are aware that God is in control of their ability to conceive and bear children, and they are content to allow Him to bless them as He chooses in this area. [so I guess no fertility treatments for the those unable to conceive naturally?]

9) Prairie Muffins do not reflect badly on their husbands by neglecting their appearance; they work with the clay God has given, molding it into an attractive package for the pleasure of their husbands. [mold it baby!]

11) Prairie Muffins own aprons and they know how to use them [I'm in total agreement]

17) Prairie Muffins place their husbands' needs and desires above other obligations, arranging their schedules and responsibilities so that they do not neglect the one who provides for and protects them and their children. [you know, these muffin-heads may be on to something]

18) Prairie Muffins are fiercely submissive to God and to their husbands. [submissives, not just for the BSDM set anymore]

40) The women who will have the greatest impact on the world, those who will have the greatest influence on history, are those "well-behaved" women who faithfully serve God in their daily lives, seeking His approval rather than the world's admiration. Prairie Muffins know that while engaging in the kingdom-building work in their homes of loving, training and disciplining their children, the world may not express its approval, but it will be turned upside down. [devoted child rearing is fantastic, but the rest is pure rubbish].

Catch 22 - Maybe There's A Loophole?

I'm an inadavertant creationist apparently since I haven't taken anti-biotics since highschool. Oh, my bad, I just prefer to suffer than go to a doctor. If this is too small, see the full-sized strip here.