And Neither is Big D

Crunk ain't dead, y'all. So says Lil Jon and $500,000 of his money.

Supporting (Some) Of The Troops

General Pace, the Pentagon's top military officer, pulled a Tim Hardaway and is unapologetic about it. The US, along with Iran, Libya, Iraq, and a few other countries remain among the last nations with large military forces to prohibit openly gay soldiers from serving (I'm reminded of a biblical saying, something about judging a man by the company he keeps). In contrast, our brother country from another mother, Israel, along with Canada, Great Britain, Germany, South Africa, and the vast majority of NATO nations choose not to discriminate against their patriotic citizens, despite who those citizens choose to fuck (apparently, drag balls have yet to break out in Israeli barracks).

I'm reminded of two WWII veterans I met while working at a small White Plains Law Firm several years ago. They were both members of segregated black units that were not, until nearly the end of the war, permitted to engage in combat. Instead, they did maintenance; support tasks; one was even a member of a travelling military baseball team. Aside from obvious equality and fairness issues, preventing people from specific groups from fully serving their countries also prevents those groups from having the kinds of heroes and legacies upon which every community draws pride from. Schools, roads, and monuments are erected to honor those who've served, who gave their lives to protect our country. These acts of public recognition become part of the formal and informal history of our country. We can point to the people who defended us, and we laud them and the values they represent. And rightfully so. Our gay soldiers deserve no less.

Too Late

I once worked with someone who smelled like a mix of elephant shit and horse piss. Aside from febrezing his seat when he left the office for lunch, my colleagues and I wondered how we could slip some zinc into his diet - someone among us having heard that zinc helps reduce B/O production. This gum from Japan would have helped big time. Chewing it apparently leaves one with that clean ass smell. Brilliant.

Fun With Captions

A retrospective of some of Fox's best captions. See more here.

How can something that doesn't exist be a good thing?

Better than the guy he shot I would imagine.



Sadly, no other network dared take on the threat of El Queda.

Don't Clean That Car!

Artist Scott Wade creates art from filthy car windows

80% Guilty or 20% Not Guilty

Scooter Libby, fomer top aide to Vice President Cheney, has been convicted on 4 of 5 charges in the Valerie Plame case. Larry Johnson focuses on Libby's old boss and unindicted co-consipirator:

If a President can be impeached for lying about a blow job then by God a Vice President should be impeached for setting in motion the forces that destroyed an intelligence network during a time of war.

Larry, why do you hate freedom?

Girly Men and Manly Women

Several of you have been talking about Ann Coulter calling John Edwards a fag at a major conservative convention. She didn't mean to imply he is gay (married father of four that he is), just that he is a weak, girly man.

Digby says:

The underlying premise of the modern conservative movement is that the entire Democratic party consists of a bunch of fags and dykes who are both too effeminate and too masculine to properly lead the nation. Coulter says it out loud. Dowd hints at it broadly. And the entire press corps giggles and swoons at this shallow, sophomoric concept like a bunch of junior high pom pom girls.

Greenwald adds:

The converse of this is equally true. As critical as it is to them to feminize Democratic and liberal males (and to masculinize the women), even more important is to create false images of masculine power and strength around their authority figures. The reality of this masculine power is almost always non-existent. The imagery is what counts.

Ronald Reagan never got anywhere near the military war (claiming eyesight difficulties to avoid deployment in World War II), and he spent his life as a Hollywood actor, not a rancher, yet to this day, conservatives swoon over his masculine role-playing as though he is some sort of super-brave military hero. Meanwhile, Jimmy Carter, who actually graduated the Naval Academy and was assigned to real live nuclear submarines, is mocked as a weak and snivelling coward who should not have a ship named after him.

And the ultimate expression of faux, empty, masculine courage and power is, of course, the Commander-in-Chief himself -- the Glorious Leader whom John Podhoretz hailed in the title of his worshippful cult book as The First Great Leader of the 21st Century -- with the ranch hats and brush-clearing pants and flight-suit outfits that would make the Village People seethe with jealousy over his costume choices ...

Orcinus adds:

The "edgy" hate talk that she has been pushing for some time now especially appeals to the frat-boy level of sophistication that is her intended audience, and this latest iteration is all about justifying the new bigotry. Coulter's underlying logic is simple: Bigots are just people with different ideas, not hateful misanthropes whose beliefs are innately poisonous.

Our very manly leader:

One Love

(photo by Travis Ruse)

Some bullets, or as my people say, balas

Sorry for the lack of postings. I've been ... lazy or busy, can't figure out which. Anyhoo, here are some things I have not been blogging about:

• First Dan Brown tells us that Catholics have hidden the remains of Jesus for the last 2000 years to prevent the public from learning the truth about Jesus, now Geraldo Rivera, I mean James Cameron, is trying to say that he's found the real remains of Christ. Biblical scholars are outraged and vow to demonstrate with science that the remains are not those of Jesus. Using science to defend a faith based religion, clever.
• The inside of microwave popcorn bags look disgusting.
• Generous people, lucky kid.
• Conservapedia, the "conservative" alternative to wikipedia, is so damn informative. For example, here's something about judicial activism they didn't teach us in law school (obviously):
  

  There are two major types of judicial activism practiced in the United States' court system: 1. Liberal judges striking down laws that uphold core conservative American values. 2. Liberal judges refusing to strike down laws that subvert core conservative American values.

• Someone I know would not be surprised to see this. He's always tried to convince me that they like it rough.
• The NYC Council's "N word" resolution; empty gesture or meaningful symbol? I don't know. Thoughts?
• The Sarah Silverman HBO comedy special is hilarious. On raising children in a mixed denomination household: "honey, mommy is one of the chosen people, daddy believes Jesus is magic"
• Don't judge me; movies I finally watched and was able to erase from my dvr:
  - Four Brothers - God awful. Marky Mark will fuck you up if you killed the woman who adopted him.
  - Wolf Creek - tourists get lost in Australian Outback where blood thirsty savages rip them to shreds. So gory I almost stopped watching it.
  - The Hills Have Eyes - tourists get lost in southwestern desert where unbeknownst to them, underground dwelling descendants of survivors of atomic testing, rip them to shreds. I can't put my finger on it but I feel like I just saw this movie.
• Sugar glazed whole wheat donuts at Krispy Kreme. The healthier way to get diabetes.
• Lunar eclipse this Saturday. Good thing I'm not Mayan, I would have had to sacrifice a few of you.

Pitch A Softball, Watch It Get Hit

KFC - Still Trans Fat Free At Least

From a KFC on 6th Ave and West 4th Street in the West Village, NYC.

Even Better

V.P. Cheney tells us the withdrawal of British troops is a sign things are going well in Iraq. That's why I'm so elated to hear that Lithuania is ready to pull back all of their 53 soldiers. I hear that the staff of the Weekly Standard is going to replace the lost Lithuanian troops. In spirit and lapel pins at least.

Given this administration's love of Orwellian word play, can't we just declare victory and leave? It's been done before.

Drawings by Kids

Illustrated by pros:

More here

Belatedly

While re-posting last year's Valentine's day post, I belatedly realized that Kwotebel recently turned one. Happy b'day Kwotebel! Can you believe it's been a year already? Wow. That was quick. Some facts about Kwotebel's first year:

• # of "unique" visitors since Feb 1, 2006 - *5,136
  
• # of posts - 445; a solid average of 1.22 posts per day
  
• Heaviest traffic in a month (by far) - May 2006.
  
• Most commented upon posts: Three with 13; Self Explanatory, So Many Possibilities, and We Planned it This Way
  
• Biggest Irony - the only book review to receive any comments is for the book I liked least - The Name of the Rose
  
• # of posts that mention White Jesus - 16.
  
• # of Travis Ruse pics used - 15 (thought it would be higher)
  
• Since Kwotebel's birth, Big D has: had 4 temp jobs (the current one since July, however), moved from Park Slope to Sunset Park, lost 50 pounds (and counting!), rappelled down a "cliff wall" in Mexico, and vomited zero times.

Thanks for all the support everyone.

*This doesn't mean that 5,000 people have visited the site. It's a way of tracking how many people within each 24 hour period, are visiting the site from distinct computers/ip addresses. If you visit the site from work, that counts as one unique visit no matter how many times you revisit the site from that particular computer. If you check from home that same day, however, that would count as an additional unique visitor. On any given day the number has ranged from 5 to 85. It's not a perfect metric but it's basically the way sites measure traffic, popularity, etc.

Recycled

What I had to say about Valentine's Day, 2006:

Look, it's shiny

It's Valentine's Day! Godiva stores are swamped. Surely there is no greater sign of love than standing in line for a good 20 minutes, maybe 25, to pick up a carefully crafted Ballotin for your special someone. Look hon, it's so golden and shiny. Those with less love to give seen hitting the Russell Stover aisle at Duane Reade. Those no longer trying seen rummaging through the half price bins at the 99 cent store. I asked my mom to be my valentine, she said no.Of course the big dogs don't mess around with chocolate, for them it's got to be the bling. Ah yes, diamonds are forever, marriages, not so much. By the way, have you ever tried to sell a diamond?

World Presss Photo Winners

A dark, bloody, and violent year in pictures.

It's Not Too Late

Today's Washington Post op-ed by William Oden is a must read:

For the moment, the collision of the public's clarity of mind, the president's relentless pursuit of defeat and Congress's anxiety has paralyzed us. We may be doomed to two more years of chasing the mirage of democracy in Iraq and possibly widening the war to Iran. But this is not inevitable. A Congress, or a president, prepared to quit the game of "who gets the blame" could begin to alter American strategy in ways that will vastly improve the prospects of a more stable Middle East.

It's a shame that you have to have the credentials that Mr. Oden has (retired Army lieutenant general, head of Army intelligence and director of the National Security Agency under Ronald Reagan, served on the National Security Council staff under Jimmy Carter. A West Point graduate with a PhD from Columbia, Odom teaches at Yale and is a fellow of the Hudson Institute) to be able to speak the truth without being labelled a traitor. Then again it's still early and we'd do ourselves an injustice if we underestimate the shamelessness of Bill Kristol & Co.

Been A While ...

Since I've come across a car this amazing. Unfortunately, unlike its Burberry competition, the blue velour interior has me pretty sure this is no Benz. Nonetheless, props for the sheer audacity.

Primary Season Is Going To Be Fun

Excited

Just found out that one of my favorite novels - Blindness by Jose Saramago - is under production for theatrical release in 2008. The director is Fernando Meirelles who recently directed the well regarded - The Constant Gardener. Let's hope the film bears a strong resemblance to the novel.

He Was A Great Man: RIP Barbaro

"I will never forget Barbaro," said Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who took a redeye flight out of Tehran upon hearing that Barbaro had passed away. "He was a special horse."

"Though he is gone, Barbaro's memory will live on forever in all the great things he did for this nation," said Kentucky Gov. Ernie Fletcher, who recently founded the Barbaro Foundation to help disadvantaged youths receive proper schooling and to provide medical assistance for AIDS patients in Africa. "He had a lot left to live for, and so much more left to give. I sometimes wish the Good Lord had taken me instead of him."

The rest at the Onion.

Improve Your Craigslist Experience

Here's Listpic - the Craigslist pic viewer. Instead of clicking on every link to see images of what's being sold, listpic displays items for sale in a thumbnail format. Clicking on a thumbnail pulls up a window with details from the original ad. This is a big time saver. Cool.

The Man Has Skill

Travis Ruse capturing the iconic product of our time

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants

Those words open a great article in the NY Times by Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore's Dilemma. Pollan examines how nutritionism - the obsession with individual components in food like carbs and fat, for example - causes us to eat poorly and damages our health. Pollan analyzes food trends since the '70s to reveal how pressure from big agriculture and the grocery lobby, and well-intentioned policies at the federal level, have sabotaged the American diet and confused us as consumers. As Pollan notes:

... it’s also a lot easier to slap a health claim on a box of sugary cereal than on a potato or carrot, with the perverse result that the most healthful foods in the supermarket sit there quietly in the produce section, silent as stroke victims, while a few aisles over, the Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms are screaming about their newfound whole-grain goodness.

Pollan's view complements those of Dr. Mark Hyman, author of Ultrametabolism, the book and "program" I've been adhering to since last March. Both make compelling cases for a return to eating whole foods, lots of plants, and locally grown, pesticide free produce when possible. Dr. Hyman takes a more medical and scientific point of view in order to explain how various foods and substances are handled by our bodies. Dr. Hyman argues that by eating foods that we have evolved eating such as unprocessed grains, fresh greens and produce, and fish, our bodies will naturally know how to respond, extracting essential vitamins and nutrients, while maximizing our rate of metabolism which keeps us naturally fit and healthy. Conversely, when we eat processed foods that bear no relation to what our bodies have evolved to handle - foods loaded with hydrogonated oils, high fructose corn syrups, preservatives, bleached flours and grains, foods low in fiber, etc - we are confusing the natural systems in our bodies that regulate metabolism and blood sugar levels making it easier for us to gain weight and making us more susceptible to heart disease and diabetes.

Big D does not want fries with that.

The Worst Fate?

People would rather ... than be fat:

Between 15 percent and 30 percent also said they would rather walk away from their marriage, give up the possibility of having children, be depressed, or become alcoholic rather than be obese.

More here.