Finally, a good use for the Confederate Flag - wiping my ass. What custom design would you put on toilet paper?
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Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Confederate/Treason flag, Michelle (hehehe yum) will all make great TP
My Current Top 10
1. Rush Limbough (never liked this guy - ever - not one freaking bit)
2. American Idol and reality TV in general (though only after Flavor of Love II ends)
3. Star (from Star and Buckwild - stalking and threatening to molest a 4-year-old is as filthy as it gets)
4. R. Kelly (though he'd probably like it)
5. Michael Savage (though I'd rather use his face than a facsimile thereof) 6. Dennis Miller (f'ing pandering sell out - don't you look like a complete fool now, you're not even worthy enough to wipe my . . . I guess I have some hostility here I didn't know about - lol)
7. The Da Vinci Code (if I have to hear anything more about the book or the movie - come to think of it, these guys probably will merchandise toilet paper, they've merchandised about everything else. I'm also waiting for The Da Vinci Code action figure dolls for Leonardo Da Vinci, Jesus, Mary Magdellan and Baby Bastard Jesus [who will be played by the dearly departed Old Dirty Bastard a/k/a Big Baby Jesus])
8. The next fundamentalist idiot who issues a "fatwa" against anything
9. Isiah Thomas (because my beloved Knicks now REALLY suck, as opposed to kinda sucking as they usually do, and will REALLY suck for probably the next ten years due to his idiotic moves)
10. Don King (I have my reasons - it's personal)
Oops, my number 6 got stuck to my number 5. I guess that happens with toilet paper - especially Dennis Miller toilet paper. You never know who's ass he's going to get stuck up next.
To follow in Kurtis' footsteps, my top 10 tp designs (homeside edition):
1. Confederate Flag - For the sake of consistency.
2. Sean Hannity - for unsurpassed buffoonery and the most smug self-satisfied grin on TV.
3. Sen. Bill Frist - for giving a diagnosis to a patient he never examined (Terry Schiavo)
4. Donald Trump - for refusing to come to grips with his hair.
5. Rudy Guiliani - for condoning brutality and racism in the NYPD.
6. Hillary Clinton - for always, always, pandering to the right.
7. Clarence Thomas - For trying to revoke AA after benefitting from it.
8. The Carlyle Group - for playing with our lives in order to get even more insanely wealthy (look it up).
9. 50 Cent - He's been shot 9 times, what's a little shit gonna do to him?
10. Scott Norwood - For Wide Right. Damn you Norwood!
lol@Big-D...Scott Norwood...about time you let those feelings finally show. deep scar huh? poor Scott.
Hilary and Trump but not Bush/Cheney/Rummy? what's up with that man?
Here is my shortened list:
1) Bush--for lying to the country and disgracing the President's office
2) DEA/FDA/Drug Czar--for destroying democracy in latin america and supporting a winless and useless war on drugs that only has benefitted drug lords
3) Pat Robertson and the Christian Right--no need to explain
4) The Confederate Flag--for being unAmerican
5) The diamond industry--for fooling the public into worshipping over-priced rocks
6) A symbolic picture of a pretty girl--to represent all the girls that rejected me!
ROTFLMAO@ Big D - 50 Cent - AAAAHHHHH, that's funny! I work with a dude who represents the manager of Mobb Deep. MDeep is signed to 50's G-Unit label. I must admit to really not digging 50 Cent - at all. I think he sounds like Mushmouth from Fat Albert and I'm way over the ghetto-fab, gangsta rap BS. Thing is, I can't admit to my colleague that I think 50 sucks because I'm trying to get his client to invest in some of my boxers. Ah, the opinions we have to swallow at times in the name of the almighty dollar.
50 comes in at no. 11 for me, but if I get some money from his GGGGGG-Unit colleagues, he comes off the list altogether. I guess I'll have to put Ja Rule on there in his place. Don't they have some kind of beef?
Roberto - I'm feeling no. 6 - maybe the symbolic pretty girl can be Michelle Malkin. You can kill two birds with one stone/sheet.
I guess Bush/Cheney/Wolfowitz/Rumsfeld/Powell/Rice should have been my no. 1, but it's hard to fit them all on one tiny sheet of tp.
Don't know about you guys, but I enjoy my time in "the office" and having pictures of the majority of the folks you mentioned on toilet paper would probably piss me off when I'm trying to relax and disrupt the flow, if you get my drift. Having GWB or Rush Limbaugh staring at me while I'm doing my thing would not be cool. And while wiping with the Confederate flag seems pretty cool, again, the image would aggravate me.
Therefore, my custom tp would be mostly text - quotes or speeches by GWB, transcripts of Jerry Springer episodes with a couple of Maury Povich thrown in for good measure, can't forget about Bill O'Reilly and probably just about anything on FoxNews Channel, the lyrics (and sheet music if there even is any) of any Britney-American Idol-wannabe punk that sounds like KidzBop-I'm in love with a stripper-manufactured dumbed down music out there, The Da Vinci Code on a roll so I can read it in a suitable setting and likely confirm the opinions of friends that have read and hated it, a list of monies paid to various actors and athletes for their "contributions" to society, copies of the New York Post, copies of the New York Daily News, transcripts of local evening news programs, and countless other things that I can't think of at the moment.
I hear you Tra B, that's why I would only use the special tp in the event of explosive diarrhea. Come here Clarence, clean this shit up.
traB - I like the way you're thinking - maybe the tp can be double-sided. You can read a daft Michelle Malkin column and then turn the tp over when you're ready and wipe your ass with her face. You can read an old rant of Dennis Miller's about why he's become a devout supporter of his "man-of-action" president GWB and why he turned righty and got a CNBC show (which has since been cancelled) then turn it over and blow some snot in his face. I like that idea.
You know I forgot about Bill O'Reilly. I'm not even wasting tp on him. Maybe I'll wait until I'm old and then I'll have his face imprinted on the inside of my Depends.
Maybe that's going too far. . .
Kurtis - now we're talking. I like the upgrade. If we can do the double-sided thing, I'd like to officially add Kathy Griffin to the list.
Why wait until we're old? Maybe we can get baby diapers with these images on their insides. It solves the problem of the faces staring at us, and it allows our kids to do the "dirty" work for us until we're able to.
But then again, I don't want Rush Limbaugh - even just his image - touching my kid.
I love the upgrades...you guys rule.
I don't want Rush or Bill O near my kid either - Rush will try to get her hooked on drugs and Bill's always talking some shit about a loofa sponge. I definitely don't want Star or R. Kelly near my kid for that matter either - sick perverts that they are.
Maybe Rush and Bill O can be reserved for doggie pooper paper duty. Star and R. strictly tp - for adults only. Maybe we can print some special R. Kelly's lyrics:
"Your body's calling, here I come baby, to wiiiiiipe you."
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