As The Ball Drops ...

Be merry and happy, pretend you know the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne (don't worry, nobody does), strategically position yourself near any remaining mistletoe in case someone cute comes along, do not overdrink too early - you will just look amateurish, call your mama while you are still coherent, don't drive home drunk, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids on Monday, and when you wake up on Tuesday, start kicking ass! See you in the '07.

Peace and safety to our service men and women.

It's A(n) America Hating Life?

You don't have to try too hard during this time of year to catch It's A Wonderful Life on tv. The beloved classic starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed is deemed by many to be one of Hollywood's best. The FBI, it turns out, viewed the movie differently. With the commies running Hollywood and trying to corrupt feeble our American minds, the subversive message of the movie could not be ignored:

... this picture deliberately maligned the upper class, attempting to show the people who had money were mean and despicable characters.

Read more here. Personally, I've always preferred the lost ending to the movie.

Enjoy It While You Can

Sure we liberals get our fair share of credit for warring against Christmas (and rightfully so), but lost in the acclaim, lost in the platitudes, lost in the wealth and fortune bestowed upon us is any acknowledgement of the person who got us here. It's time to right that wrong and give credit where credit is due. I'm talking about the original warrior against Christmas; yes, I'm speaking of Scrooge. Despite the theatrical community's attempt to present him as some sort of flip-flopper, a repentant warrior against Christmas, those of us in the movement know better. The book and subsequent movie versions were accurate up to a point; Scrooge was a savvy business man. He didn't throw his money around carelessly, he didn't tolerate listless employees, or contribute to things like health care (the man knew a pre-cursor to socialism when he saw it!). And while some doctrinaire capitalists might worry about the message sent by Scrooge's legendary frugality, we should all remember that the kind of mindless consumption required for our society to thrive comes from the poor, not the rich, as Scrooge doubtless knew. Yes, those elements of the portrayal of Scrooge were correct, but does anyone really think that a few apparitions - the existence of which have never even been proven - could shake a man so firm in his mission against Christmas? I think not. Dickens, it would appear, had Orwellian tendencies before Orwell even put his name to them; converting a warrior against Christmas into a Christmas loving fool. Devious, devious, Dickens. Fortunately this distortion of Scrooge's message has failed to deter new generations of warriors (including, notably, the Grinch), and the movement has never been stronger. So to all my friends and loved ones, acquaintances and colleagues, have a very Merry Christmas - God willing, it will be your last.

I Gave Up Kipper For Lent

Ghetto girl: My boss makes us take off on Jewish holidays and don't even pay us!
Ghetto friend: That's messed up.
Ghetto girl: I know. I don't celebrate no Yipper Kipper! I wanna say to him, 'I ain't Jewish, nigga.'

--L train

Overheard by: Caroline

via Overheard in New York, Dec 17, 2006

Banned From NYC

They See Everything

Ron Mueck Exhibit @ Brooklyn Museum

We profiled this artist before. Check out the real deal at the Brooklyn Museum. Show runs through February 4, 2007.

Update III: B'Day/Christmas List

Update III: OMG - Secret Motherfucking Santa Strikes Again! I have been told by yet another individual who shall remain nameless that I will soon be receiving a year long subscription to the Economist. Then last night I was presented with a book of short stories by an author I've never read (who sounds right up my alley). At this point folks, all I can say is thank you to everyone (seriously), this outpouring of generosity is definitely appreciated.

I feel kinda sorry for those of you who haven't gotten me anything yet; like guests to a wedding who check the registry at the last minute, all you're left with are the expensive items. Sucks for you. I Keed!!! Actually though, since I never contemplated that this list would be acted on, that I would be striking things off, I've decided to remove the foolish items and add a few new items (for those who are looking to up their chances of getting into heaven).

Update II: This keeps getting better and better. I am the proud new owner of a (second hand but fully functional) mp3 player. If only I had known about this list business years ago. Christmas is only a couple of weeks away but I have confidence in you people, with a little hard work we will knock this list out. Make it happen people!

Update: To my amazement and appreciation, someone (who shall remain nameless) sent me an item off my wish list. I am the happy new owner of a very slick new universal remote; the perfect toy for my inner geek and inner control freak. Thank you! In the spirit of seeing how much more I can get from you people, the list is updated and revised. Happy Shopping.

Big D turn(ed) 35 on December 7th and will soon celebrate the birth crass commercialization of White Jesus. If you're so inclined, these items are on my list of things - in no particular order - that I'm waiting for other people to buy me (some reasonable, some pie in the sky):

• Subscription to the Economist.
• Universal Home Theater Remote Control - not the $20 version either, more like this one.
• Gears of War - Xbox 360 game. (I rented it on gamefly)
• An Ipod mp3 player, the one I have but haven't used in months is dead. I'll even take the holy mp3 player. My use of it would be ironic giving me the cool status I yearn for but never attain.
• Polar heart rate monitor/watch set - been highly recommended to me. Warning, I might re-gift.
• Skiing lessons - not easy guiding 245, 241 238 pounds of Big D down a mountain (but getting easier!)
• A Hickey Freeman Blazer - their clothes fit me really well. Country club republicans and I apparently have the same rotund American frame. Damn. (I'll get this on my own).
• A - non Kenneth Cole - briefcase. For "once in a lifetime" purchases I'd prefer something slightly more special. Bruno Magli briefcases are nice. (future wife, this one's for you).
• Killer stock tips - my savings are not appreciating fast enough! Insiders, I can keep a secret.
• Contributions to the Writer's Showcase. Let's go people!
• A book you love, think is great, by a writer I'm not familiar with (ie, nothing from Marquez, Saramago, McEwan, McCormac, Mailer, Wolfe, Alvarez, Borges, Danticat, Eugenides, Burroughs, Ames, Gordimer, Coeteze, Banville, Updike, Welsh, Styron, Nabokov, Murakami, Ambrose, Llosa, Hosseini, Martel, Achebe, Abe, Mafouz, Tolkien, Lessing, Robbins, Wright, Hesse, Jennings, Ellroy, Baldwin, Vonnegut, Lethem, Roy, Franzen, Eggers, Zadie Smith, and anybody else you've ever heard me mention.
• Spanish language lessons/course/book/tapes - to be better prepared in the fight against El Queda (and for easier ordering from Tacos California).
• A Travis Ruse print - I've pimped enough of his images that he should get some money ... from someone.
• A cool T shirt. I like this one (in brown- xl).
• A CD you love by a band I may not be familiar with. Surprise me.
• A magic weight loss pill.
• Premium Cali bud. It helps me blog.
• Success and happiness to my friends.
• Peace on Earth (send that one to the Middle East).

Email me if you need my address. No, really.

I'd Like To Know As Well

Suit #1: Dude, she's pregnant.
Suit #2: Holy shit. No way. What are you gonna do?
Suit #1: I have no idea.
Suit #2: You have to make her have an abortion.
Suit #1: It's her decision; I can't make her have an abortion.
Suit #2: Dude, you're an attorney -- you can make her do anything you want. And if she doesn't agree, you know there are ways to threaten her into doing it.
Suit #1, in amazement: Where the hell did you go to law school?

--53rd & Lex

via Overheard in New York, Dec 11, 2006

Speaking of Revisionist History

David Duke, former candidate for Congress, is in attendance at the Holocaust (denial) Conference in Iran. Wonder if he's sharing a room with Pat Buchanan. The ADL responds. Next week in Iran, the myth of Armstrong's landing on the moon is discussed.

Clarification By Comparison

Jimmy Carter continues his streak of staying front and center with the release of his controversial new book "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid" The rebukes have been flying off the presses about as fast as the book has. I haven't read the book, perhaps it sucks. A lot of folks who think about the Middle East a lot seem to have problems with it, the title especially. Fine, it's a book, discuss, disagree, who cares. The criticisms focus on the word Apartheid and frankly, it just seems weird that after all these years that it takes an unflattering look at Israel for the right to finally get riled up about Apartheid. I remember participating in debates about my college's refusal to completely divest from companies operating in South Africa (in 1989!). Across boardrooms and Wall Street, many argued that sanctioning Apartheid was not the way to go. On the night Nelson Mandela was elected as Prime Minister, after 30 years of torture and imprisonment (his election in my opinion, a milestone in human history), the right wing business personality Larry Kudlow could only muster, "well, this will be fine as long as he doesn't try to redistribute wealth" or some other banality. So now with an unflattering book, and I just learned, a movement across some campuses to divest from Israel, the evils of Apartheid have reached the status they never had while millions of South Africans were being brutalized - if only to differentiate Israel from South Africa! If nothing else hopefully this will prevent the type of revisionist history that we see happening now with the death of Chilean dictator Augustin Pinochet where some on the right have opined that though Pinochet was a mass murderer and torturer, and stole hundreds of millions from his people, he wasn't so bad.

Two Jobs, One Paying, One Non-Paying ...

Forced to choose, I've had to focus on my paying job lately; blogging has been a luxury that my work duties have not permitted. Sorry for the absence, here's what I've been thinking about:

• About six months after Abner Louima's torture at the hands of the NYPD was revealed, a colleague of mine at Proskauer and I were having lunch when the subject of police brutality arouse. He asked me what I was talking about and claimed to not have heard about the Louima case. His lack of knowledge and apparent disinterest in the matter was eye opening to me. Here was an Ivy League educated attorney at a major NY firm and he didn't know (or particularly care) about one of the most horrific acts of police brutality in modern times. To him, and I suspect to many others for whom police brutality is not something to fear, allegations of police brutality are just more complaining. For those for whom any encounter with the police might result in the use of excessive force, the Louima case, and more recently, the killing of Sean Bell, merely add to a long history of police brutality against people of color. It makes the news these days (even then, with footage and all, justice is not guaranteed), yet for people in these communities, you don't have to see it in the news to know about it. Chances are you, or people you know, have been roughed up by the cops; have had minor encounters trumped up into serious cases; have seen cops work to get you in the system in order to build a foundation to justify whatever future action they take against you, etc. This isn't paranoia or a conspiracy theory, for low income New Yorkers and Blacks and Latinos in particular, this is daily life.


• I haven't had time (duh!) to do the research but I had a thought that I want to pursue eventually. President Carter has been reviled by the right since he left office, for among other reasons, the damage to America his handling of the Iran Hostage Crisis resulted in. In addition to the 400+ days the hostages were held (their release was delayed to coincide with Reagan's inauguration), many have also sharply criticized the failed attempt to rescue the hostages in which several US soldiers were killed. My question/thesis is this: how much money and life (and more abstractly, American prestige) was lost due to Carter's handling of the crisis, vis a vis President Bush's handling of the War on Terror, the invasion of Iraq, and his Axis of Evil paradigm?


• VP Dick Cheney's daughter (and her partner of 15 years), are pregnant. Even Darth Vader himself will probably welcome the child into the family, but those on the right to whom Cheney and his wife pandered about the evils of homosexuality aren't too pleased.


• Dennis Prager is an asshole. And an uninformed fool. Sadly, he has an audience of millions.


• Public Service Announcement: Don't spend too much this Christmas - everyone you're buying a gift for already has too much shit. Save your money and show them you care other ways. Paid for by: You'll always be broke if you spend all your money.


• The NYC trans fat ban for restaurants was approved by the City Council. I smell a lawsuit. If the fry aint crisp, you must acquit.
  


• Any smoothie drinkers out there? I just bought an immersion blender, some whey protein, and mixing ingredients. My interest in this might fade quicker than my loose tea period.
  


• Pookie and the fellas are rolling through this weekend. God help me.

Not As Durable As The Originals

Some incredible sand sculptures

Evil Santa or Count Dooku?

The Pope has an eye for fashion.

While We've Been Busy In Iraq

The Taliban has been flexing in Afghanistan:

The gunmen came at night to drag Mohammed Halim away from his home, in front of his crying children and his wife begging for mercy.

The 46-year-old schoolteacher tried to reassure his family that he would return safely. But his life was over, he was part-disembowelled and then torn apart with his arms and legs tied to motorbikes, the remains put on display as a warning to others against defying Taliban orders to stop educating girls.

Read the rest here. Many of you have probably already read it, but for a tangential yet educational look at the decline of Afghanistan over the last 30 years, check out The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

There's Always A Bigger Fish ...

The boxy bully got one-up'd

Flashback

This was the bomb back in 1988. It cost the equivalent of $4300 today. For a mere $430 you could add a whopping one megabyte of ram. Unfortunately, your brand new pc did not include a hard drive. Fortunately, you could store endless pages of data on those high capacity floppy disks. How many years before this $2500 computer resembles a low end palm pilot?

Wait Til He Catches Gigli

From Overheard:

UPS Guy: I swear to you, Joey, I seen a lot of movies in my time and this movie is not to be missed. I swear, it's definitely one of the ten best I've ever seen. And I'm a big movie buff. They have it at Blockbuster -- you have to rent it. It's called Nanny McPhee. You got that? Nanny McPhee.

--34th & Broadway

Incredible Discovery

Archeologists were shocked to see the emergence of a rib from under Big D's blubber. It was revealed as Big D lost a few more pounds. We always suspected he had ribs but frankly, we could never find them. Archeologist hope that this leads to the holy grail that has been hidden for 30 years, the discovery of Big D's adam apple. Hey, if Ann Coulter has one, Big D has to have one too. Stay tuned.

Reason 600,001 ...

Why the Iraqis don't see us as liberators. Assholes.

Not Tom Toles

Off To The Weekend

Sorry for the light posting lately but they've been piling work on Big D like I work here for real (hellooooo, I'm a temp, remember?). But don't sweat it, Big D will prevail. Anyway, have a nice weekend. As for the photo, is it me, or does this guy seem less than enthusiastic about walking down these stairs? Preparing to deal with subway crowds can be depressing.

(photo by Travis Ruse)

Fine Print vs Invisible Ink

Owners in a townhouse community have been prohibited by their homeowners association from smoking inside their home. Two heavy smokers sued to have the rule invalidated - and lost. Apparently the smell of cigarette smoke was leaking into other units. I'm not a cigarette smoker, I don't like the smell, am happy smoking is banned in bars, think Big Tobbacco is corrupt and deserves to be bankrupted out of existence, but banning smoking IN YOUR OWN FREAKIN' HOME???? And, while I think you make a deal with the devil when you buy property governed by an association (coops here in the city), and you must understand that you are buying property with diminished rights, could the people in this case have forseen this? Which brings up the other side of the coin, if like minded people want to get together to build a smoke free community, as long as everyone knows in advance, go for it. This is a perversion of what property rights have historically meant. To impose these rules post facto on the basis of a homeowner's agreement that was never intended to cover events like this strikes me as unjust. First and last show of sympathy for smokers by Big D.

Neat

This is real. It's a hotel room in Berlin designed to give the illusion of a cartoon drawing. I stayed at a hotel like this in Amsterdam, every room was designed by a different artist - no two rooms were alike. This would be a great project to try for a kid's room.

Rollin' on Deuce Sixes

I'm sure there's a good explanation for this car.

Wing Man (for blame)

Most guys need to have wronged a woman (real or perceived) before they've earned her scorn. Not me. I have the dubious honor of being on the hit lists of numerous women who I'm not married to or dating. These women, the wives and girlfriends of friends, have it in for me big time. Why? Am I cheating on them? Well no, we're just friends. Have I been breaking promises to them? Nope, no promises made, no promises broken. Am I an inconsiderate lover? Never - to them. No, nothing I've done justifies the scorn; I'm scorned because of what the boyfriends and husbands of these women blame me for (with a handy translation just below)

Honey, I would have been home on time but Dave wanted to hang out a little later.
What's the big deal, it's not that late

Sweetie, I know I promised I'd stop smoking so much but Dave didn't want to smoke alone.
I didn't want to smoke alone

Of course I'd rather spend time with the family tonight but I'm worried that Dave is really down and needs some support.

I need some time away from the family

I tried to get Dave to plan the vacation to Amish country, but he insisted we go to Amsterdam.
What's wrong with Amsterdam?

Baby, I didn't realize I missed your call, Dave's apartment gets horrible cell phone reception.

I purposely ignored your call

Honey, Dave never told me there were gonna be strippers at the party. You know how inconsiderate he is!

Thank God Dave got the strippers.

Worse, these guys sometimes start believing the lies they make up about me. I've been chastised for not acknowledging the valid points made by their wives. "You've got to admit Dave, it's not unreasonable for her to want me to spend more time at home." Then go home motherfucker! Why are you telling me? Tell her.

Whatever, I love my friends. I'm glad that they look forward to hanging out with me and even getting in trouble at home in order to do it. But seriously, man up fellas, you guys are making your wives direct a lot of negative karma at me. It'd be nice to know that if one of your wives saw me on the side of the road one day in need of help, she'd stop and give a brother a ride.

PS: If any of my friend's wives happen to read this post, I'm not talking about your husband.

Glad I Was Wrong

Jim Webb has defeated the apologist for American treason. Hasta Maccaca!

Embrace It Ladies

Bimbette #1: Cancun is just a place for girls to go to on Spring break and be the whores that they really are.
Bimbette #2: Oh my God, I know! We should go there next year!
Bimbette #1: Totally!

--45th St & 5th Ave

via Overheard in New York, Nov 9, 2006

Pennies For My Thoughts

Eagle-eyed readers will notice the new Google ad box on the right. I think I have enough traffic to generate about $.25 annually. At that rate, I should be able to treat myself to a tall Starbucks coffee by 2015 or so. Damn, I just realized a tall will probably cost a bit more by then. Ok, by 2020 I should be good to go.

Good Idea

This wall safe is a great idea but maybe not the solution for those whose memory isn't what it used to be. I'm thinking of you, mom.

The Best*

I was browsing through a discussion over at Daily Heights (a message board concerning my old neighborhood, Prospect Heights), about the maneuvers parents undertook to get their children admitted to the best* public schools, and was struck by this comment:

"... I think this is an aspect of NYC life that goes beyond schools -- people also act this way about their choice of doctor, neighborhood, etc. It just grows out of this overarching sense that New York is a competition to the death for limited resources, that there can only be one Good Enough Choice in any given decision and everyone else is screwed. "

I think the commenter summed up perfectly a peculiar aspect of living in New York - not just the hunt for the best*, but the passion with which those labels are professed and defended. I see it often with food: to have a favorite pizza in New York is not just to like it, but to claim it vigorously as the best*. In other aspects of life, claiming best* status takes on entirely different dimensions. The scramble for education strikes me as surreal; parents pay thousands to advisors to help their toddlers get into the best* preschools. I can't blame these parents for doing what they think is right for their families but I do find it a touch insulting that the pursuits of these well off folks overshadow the struggles that the vast majority of New Yorkers face who don't have the means or access to these resources.

Competition exists in other markets but it seems exacerbated in New York because of the combination of a so many high achieving, ambitious and well off people. Additionally, the vast amount of choices available in New York seems to cause stress - perhaps the best* label is a coping mechanism. I made the right choice because it's - x, y, z, whatever - the best*.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the best* for yourself and family, it just seems delusional and self serving to think that you're getting it or that it's even attainable. A couple of years ago I was referred to a great dentist, he was the best dentist I've ever had, and objectively very good. Was he the best* dentist in New York? Doubtful, but who cares? I was happy to have found a good dentist.

It seems to me people find comfort in wholly irrelevant classifications when what's really important is getting the service, product, experience you want, at a price you feel is fair (or great).

Truth In Advertising

The 8,000 calorie Quadruple Bypass Burger.

One More Thing

Congratulations to Nancy Pelosi for becoming (soon) the first female Speaker of the House. I heard one analyst say - but haven't confirmed - that after this election there will be 70+ women elected to Congress. Similarly, congrats to Patrick Deval who became the first African American governor in Massachusetts - amazingly, he is only the second African American governor in the country since Reconstruction. The diversification of our leadership is a good sign that long standing preconceptions about the abilities of women and people of color to lead are being discarded by voters in more and more states.

We Voted

Despite all the Democratic success last night, the three major races I profiled on this site - Lieberman/Lamont (CT Senate), Corker/Ford (TN Senate), and, Webb/Allen (VA Senate) - did not go as I had hoped though the VA race won't be final for several days. Nonetheless, with a virtually even Senate, a Republican President, and Democratic House, the system of checks and balances that our government needs to thrive would appear to be restored. It felt good to see so many "blue" candidates win last night, to see that the administration's slanderous labelling of Democrats as traitors did not stick, that people aren't as dumb as Karl Rove thinks. It also felt good to put to rest the meme that was voiced after the 2004 elections that the Democratic party was destined for permanent minority status. Such are the utterances of a party drunk on their own power and blinded to how seriously citizens take corruption. This is a moment in time that I hope the victors capitalize on, not for the benefit of the party, but for the benefit of all of us.

It's All Been Said, Just Vote

So much has been written about the upcoming election that I'll keep it simple: during the last six years, Republicans have controlled every aspect of our national government; our foreign and domestic policies. If you're happy with the job they've done, if you believe their vision is the correct one for America, vote for them. If not, vote Democratic.

Inevitable Hypocrisy

The church I attended as a kid was led by a fiery and energetic pastor named John Bartlett. He built up the church, located in Tonawanda, NY, a town outside of Buffalo, by recruiting people like my family from the inner city. The church sent school buses (painted with the church's colors and logo - "The Lighthouse Baptist Church"), to pick up congregants who didn't have cars and would otherwise be unable to attend service. At its peak, the church had a fleet of 10 buses. It was an impressive accomplishment. Bartlett took the church from a membership of 100 or so when my family joined, to about 400-500 members.

Bartlett was a good preacher - he knew the scripture, had passion and energy, and had a knack for cultivating new parishioners. Bartlett's take on the scriptures is why I couldn't listen to worldly music as a kid. There was no gray area in the bible, you were either with the lord or with the world. My mom was decidedly in the pro lord camp. For about 8-9 years we attended Sunday morning services and often Sunday evening services as well, and during certain periods in those years we also attended Wednesday evening services, Thursday evening AWANA (a more christian version of the Boy Scouts), Friday evening basketball night (the church compound had a gym), and and occasionally did the knocking on doors thing on Saturday mornings.

Suffice to say, we were deeply enmeshed within the church and for me, opportunities to recuse myself were limited. My stroke of luck, the event that enabled me to assert my independence, was when Pastor Bartlett, the married father of three kids, took off to Florida with the wife of a church deacon (she left behind 5 kids). For my mother and many of the other city families in particular, this was a fatal betrayal. Within weeks, the Puerto Rican contingent, of which we were an original part, had shifted to a doctrinally similar Spanish language church located a few blocks from where my family lived. I think I attended service there twice before asserting that my lack of fluency in Spanish made my attendance pointless. At this point, my mother just gave up I think.

The armchair psychologists among you may be wondering whether Bartlett's gross hypocrisy is what turned me off to religion, it didn't. Credit for that goes to my free mind. What my experience with the Lighthouse Baptist Church did was expose me to the hypocrisy and danger of fundamentalist religions. Fundamentalists believe the bible, koran, torah, etc. - books written by men long after their respective prophets were dead - to be the inerrant word of God, to be followed without compromise (that each major faith feels the same thing about their particular book of rules only means everyone who thinks differently is good hearted, but misguided). The bible and other books are the absolute word of God to be obeyed, or else. But absolutism is an unwise and impossible ideal in most instances, and striving for it often comes at a heavy price. The people who listen to these sermons believe them, and like any message that gets repeated over and over, like any message told with conviction, they're adopted and internalized by many, and given the role that the afterlife plays in religion, the dangers of its misuse are apparent.

All of this brings me to the news that Ted Haggard, leader of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the 30 million member National Association of Evangelicals, has stepped down after his affairs and drug use with a gay prostitute were revealed. Like Bartlett, Haggard is a real bright line guy, a with the lord or with the world type of fella, someone who believes the bible is perfect. It probably doesn't need to be said .... but of course, Haggard was a leading proponent of laws that sought to deny gay people the right to marry and professed that homosexuality is an abomination.

My big problem with Haggard, is not that he's a massive hypocrite or that he's been lying to thousands of his earnest believers and abusing the trust of the people he claims to care about (though they may care), it's that his version of Christianity has been steadily rising in influence in our government over the last six years - Haggard speaks to President Bush weekly. People like Haggard are influencing policies that affect us all and that's personally scary as well as irreconcilable with our constitution. The version of Christianity that Haggard preaches puts us in the position of having, for example, churches fighting for exemptions to non-discrimination laws so that they can deny their employees health insurance for reproductive services, while the leaders of these churches, like Haggard or the Cahtolic priests, don't practice what they preach behind closed doors. Accross the country, Haggard and people of his ilk have been waging fierce campaigns to replace science with theology in our public schools. We're distracted by campaigns that warn us of wars against Christmas while criticisms against the handling of the real war we're in are chalked up to hysterical anti-Bush hatred. Killing abortion providers becomes the lesser of two evils and while Haggard may not approve of such conduct, the theological underpinnings of the murderer's acts are similar to what Haggard preaches.

Religion cannot be held accountable for what crazy people do in its name, but the rest of us need to be accountable when we allow religion to gain new footholds in our government and civic institutions. We live in a free country so pray how you see fit, just keep your mythology and INEVITABLE hypocrisy out of my government and the laws that govern this land.

KFC And Wine, Oh So Fine

Don't Lend Them Money Either

Hispanic thug #1: You have to hit a kid to teach him respect.
Hispanic thug #2: That doesn't work
Hispanic thug #1: Sure it does, remember when I stole that stuff when I was younger and dad hit me? That taught me the respect that I needed not to steal
Hispanic thug #2: You still steal.
Hispanic thug #1: Yeah, but not from my family.

--Downtown 4

via Overheard in New York, Oct 28, 2006

I've Got My Issues With Teddy (Update)

Update: I forgot the golden rule of comparing and constrasting. On the one hand we've got President Teddy Roosevelt's classic defense of democracy and free speech, to wit:

“To announce there must be no criticism of the President, and to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, it is morally treasonous to the American public.”

And then we have President George Bush:

"However they put it, the Democrat approach in Iraq comes down to this: The terrorists win and America loses"

I wonder which statement will be cited as an example of strong American democratic principles 80 years from now?

Is This Offensive? (Updated)(Update II)

Update II: The Silverbacks are still the Silverbacks, but they have a new logo. Smart move. Keep the community happy and avoid controversy. The team initially took a defiant tact but wised up. Why? $$$$ Time to sell tickets! The new logo:

[The Old Logo] Buffalo's new minor league basketball team, the Silverbacks.

UPDATE I: I asked whether the above logo and name were offensive because of the history of comparing African Americans to gorillas, monkeys, and other primates, and relatedly, the general de-humanization of Black people thoughout history. I think the logo is offensive, but mostly just reflects poor taste and questionable marketing. Coincidentally there was an article in Sunday's NY Times about an ill-fated exihibit put on by the Bronx Zoo in 1906. The exhibit featured a Congolese pygmy named Ota Benga, a survivor of the Congan holocaust (see below), who was purchased from captors, brought to the US and ultimately "displayed" alongside various primates. That was 100 years ago but clearly the slur has not been completely erased from public consciousness. So I ask again: should a majority African American sports team bear a logo and name that ignores history and perpetuates degrading sterotypes?

Regarding the Congan Holocaust, here's a summary I wrote a few years ago of an excellent biography of King Leopold of Belgium - the man behind the world's least known genocide:

King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild: 10 Million Cheers for Colonialism? Less than 50 years after agents of King Leopold had murdered, raped, tortured, mutilated, and brutalized half of the population of the Congo, Congolese schoolchildren were taught from Belgium drafted textbooks that Leopold was the benevolent father figure of their country.

Hochschild has written a history that reads with the ease of a newspaper about a subject that has been buried in the annals of mis-history. 10 million Africans were killed for the enrichment of one man and his partners and yet most people have never heard of this story! That this genocide is virtually unknown to most people is a sad reminder of how much injustice has been perpetuated upon Africans over the centuries that has been "forgotten."

Among the more fascinating aspects of this book are the profiles of the leaders of the human rights movement, white and black, who at the turn of the century showed incredible courage and integrity in fighting against political and journalistic malfeasance, bribery, and significant risks to their own lives, in order to expose to the world the magnitude of the Belgium atrocities committed in the Congo.

Dinesh D'Souza, to whom my "cheers" sentence refers, is among those who seek to deny or downplay the crimes committed by or for colonialists. Hopefully this book will cast too bright a light for such distortions of the truth to prevail. An enlightening book that I highly recommend.

Left Me A Little Misty Eyed

The Road by Cormac McCarthy (2006)

In the (near) post apocalyptic future, a nameless father and his young son travel westward. The world - the Earth - is dead; the skies are dark and cloudy, poison fills the air, the soil, and waters. Human survivors are few and many have succumbed to cannibalism; there is no food except for the stray canned goods that have escaped the clutches of earlier scavengers. Survival hardly seems like a prize yet the father pushes forward through cold, rain and misery; staying off the roads, scavenging through abandoned homes and buildings for food, fuel, and other useful items, all while keeping a loaded pistol by his side. The threat of capture provides constant tension and requires that the father plan for the unthinkable; he won't let them take his son alive. The horror of killing his own child is easier to process than the thought of his child being captured, tortured, raped, or eaten alive.

The young son is no mere bystander in this tale. Never having known the world as it existed, of the nature of man before man destroyed the world, his innocence and yearning for kindness, friendship, trust, and safety reveals, literally through the mouths of babes, what all humans are born seeking.

It is in this nightmare of a world that a very touching story emerges about a father and son, about pushing forward, about love and about hope. In a hopeless world, love provides the reason to survive. The Road lacks the haunting abstract prose I have to come expect (and love) from McCarthy, in fact I didn't find the writing to be particularly "special," yet the story is truly moving and hard to put down (and haunting). I finished it in 4 days. Though sad and tragic, the story provides ground for hope as well. I think parents, especially fathers, will be deeply affected. I'm only an uncle and I was.

Jam On It

This is probably just an exercise in photoshopping but I think it looks quite good. Comes pre-loaded with classic church hits: I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart and Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so. Rock on!

The New Suicide Bombers

This Houston, TX pastor is telling his flock that Republicans need to be ousted this election because, drum roll please, they're delaying the second coming of JC by preventing Christian missionairies from working in Iraq, Iran and Syria. The only way to help speed up the return of JC is to cause widespread death, destruction, and misery in the Middle East. Praise Jesus! God is real; the death toll in Iraq, a figment of liberal imagination. This would be a lot less scary if our great leader, the guy with access to the nuke codes, was less inclined to look to the good book for guidance. Shall I wear this polka dot tie today, hmmm, let me check Corinthians. For more on the rapture, read up.

Three 12 Piece Buckets, Please

KFC plans to follow in the footsteps of Wendy's (and ahead of potential legislation in NYC), by dropping partially hydrogonated oils - "trans fats" - from its menu. Hydrogonated oils are among the worst things you can put into your body. Read more here. I can't wait for the change, I'm gonna eat KFC everyday. I mean, without trans fats, it's good for you isn't it?

Mr. Bush, Those Cameras You See, They're Filming You

Look, Read, Learn

This map (click to enlarge) accompanies this article from the Economist and it's the most informative thing I've read about the Middle East in a while. Managing our interests in the Middle East has never been easy, but it's a lot harder now. The nuanced truth, that (a) we have allies in the Middle East other than Israel, (b) moderate Arab leaders are willing to deal with us because they have as much if not more to lose from radical Islam than we do, (c) Saddam Hussein, though hostile to the US, was a stabilizing force in the region, in a region that needs stabilizing forces, (d) Israel's hankering for over the top retaliations, the kind that American hawks feel are essential in the war on terror, are making groups like Hizbullah sympathetic to a much wider audience in the Middle East, and (e) that Iran's growing influence in the region is seen as detrimental by other Arab states. This list could go on but the point is that the dumbed down version of world events and foreign policy that the American public is subjected to serves no one other than republicans hoping to cling to power. Let's hope that whomever takes over the White House after this administration understands these nuances and is willing to put real national security and effective diplomacy at the top of their agenda.

Too Fancy For Tennesee?

Harold Ford, Jr., Democratic Congressman from Tennesee is running against Republican Bob Corker for the Senate seat being vacated by Bill Frist. More local info on the race - which is very close by all accounts - here, and here. The national Republican Party is throwing a lot of money into the race (here's a sample of their handy work - FancyFord). Does this stuff work? Do people buy this? Compare the two most recent ads. One ad is designed to generate laughs and spread innuendo, the other shows the candidate personally laying out his position on the important issues. In a close race such as this one, which ads will help capture undecided or unmotivated voters?

Should Of El-Caminoized It Instead

A Honda Civic-amino would have been cool, instead these fools created the world's ugliest car that costs more than $500. Ugh. More horrifying pictures here.

One Of A Kind

How many of you are there?

Happy 30th

Sure, we've long since left analog technologies in the dust, but still, the VCR was a big deal in the history of consumer electronics. It had huge implications for how movies are distributed, led to changes in copyright law, and gave consumers tremendous power over how and when to consume media. I purchased my last VCR in 1998 right before I purchased my first DVD player. I'd say it's been used 10 times since then.

Glory Days of DVD Sales Over?

A writer from Entertainment Weekly writes about the DVD purchasing trap that he (and many of us) fell into:

Back when I was a kid, you never bought a movie on VHS. Every tape was, like, $89.99, so you rented it, and if for some reason you wanted to rewatch it, you just rented it again. But DVDs changed all that. Suddenly, movies were cheap — dirt cheap. For 20 bucks (and often less) you could own the film forever. ''How cool is that?'' we all asked ourselves as we stocked up on titles we didn't need — and, in many cases, didn't even really want. Why? Because we could! I remember going out and buying junk like Rollerball. Rollerball! I just thought it would be cool to own Rollerball, so I bought it. Too bad I forgot how much it sucks.

I got caught up in the hype initially, especially since it gave me a reason to go all out and set up a kick ass home theater. But, in my defense, I realized pretty early on that most DVD purchases were unecessary and began limiting DVD purchases to (a) visually interesting films and anime, and (b) comedy movies and shows with high replay value that don't require a lot of concentration. I have stopped buying dramas completely - after the initial viewing, there just isn't any replay value in them for me. Also, besides real hard core movie buffs, who really watches all the extras that are a main feature of some DVDs? Not me.

Any impulse DVD purchases you care to admit to? I'll start - I have no business owning these:

1. Master & Commander - clearly, I just needed to buy something
2. The Hurricane - haven't even opened the packaging
3. THX - made George Lucas famous; sucks
4. War of the Worlds - good special effects my only defense

Fortunately no Roller Ball. Your turn.

Some More Than Others

But He's a Major Tourist Attraction

Manic tourist lady #1: Oh wow, the front of the train. I've never been in FRONT before. Look! Haha! No driver!
Manic tourist lady #2: No driver? Seriously? Excuse me, sir? Who's driving this subway?

Local looks up from paper and looks around frantically.

Manic tourist #2: Wait, seriously? Oh my God, should we get off?
Manic tourist #1: Oh, calm down. He's just joking. We can't get off 'til Union Square.
Local: Ma'am, I swear to God that I'm not joking. Nobody's driving this train. I'm just as terrified as you are.
Manic tourist #2: Oh, whatever. He's one of those New York assholes we heard about. Ignore him.

--4 train, 59th St

via Overheard in New York, Oct 13, 2006

Maybe You Should Just Stay Wrinkled

This is real. Takes 6 hours to iron a shirt.

Damn, This Is Cheap

This is an off brand set I've never heard of - Emprex - and is of limited quality I'm sure. Yet, at $499, this is by far the cheapest 32" HDTV LCD I've ever seen - and trust me, I've been looking. Bodes well for the future of HDTV. Eventually, name brand sets will be available at these price points. If anybody pulls the trigger, please let me know. I'd love to hear your review.

Family Values

I've been wanting to add my own work to the Writer's Showcase but I don't write "stories"; this blog is about the limit of what I write. Then I remembered, several years ago some friends and I decided to write and share stories about our fathers; each of us having grown up without one for the most part. My contribution to that exchange was a personal and unsentimental look back at what I remembered about my dad. Prior to this post, I re-read it for the first time in a couple of years. Reliving those memories made me think of several things, more importantly, it gave me a renewed appreciation for the good fathers I know. In particular I want to give a shout out to a good friend, someone who's going through some tough times right now. Despite a raft of troubles that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, this guy's devotion to his children is complete and unwavering. They come first, now and always. He shows that despite our trials and tribulations, our faults and shortcomings, if being a good parent is your first priority, you'll find a way to get the job done. Hang in there, bro.

Here is my story. (At the top of the page, click on the link that says Download File).

This Is Really Funny ... But

Why and how is this guy getting away with it? As you are about to see, Aleksay Vayner, a student at Yale (class of '07), sent a video resume of himself to various Wall Street firms and banks. The video is a magnificent - perhaps unprecedented - example of Ass-Douchery™. You can't make this stuff up - except apparently he did. Ivygate has a breakdown. Here's a copy of his resume. Here's a link to the "book" he lists on his resume. Amazing. So is this a prank?

All Life Is Lived In The Past

The Sea by John Banville (2005)

The Sea is a marvel of efficiency; in less than 200 pages, Banville writes a “memoir” that is spare and yet touching and profound.

The Sea is the story of a rapidly aging widower who, after the death of his wife, travels to the seaside resort town where he spent several summers as a child. Taking up residence in a long term boarding house filled with other hurting and lost souls, he thinks about his life; first his childhood summers and the life defining relationship and events of those years, then the days preceding and during his wife’s illness and death, and then finally the unkind truth of his present life. These narratives are weaved together throughout the novel until they coalesce towards the end.

I could ramble on for a while about how much I liked this book, how true Banville’s observations rung, how deep the sense of loss is, how scary it makes one feel about getting old. I could, but you should just buy the book and experience it for yourself.

Banville won the Mann Booker prize for The Sea.

"On the subject of observing and being observed, I must mention the long grim gander I took at myself in the bathroom mirror this morning. Usually these days I do not dally before my reflection any longer than is necessary. There was a time when I quite liked what I saw in the looking-glass, but not any more. Now I am startled, and more than startled, by the visage that so abruptly appears there, never and not at all the one that I expect. I have been elbowed aside by a parody of myself, a sadly disheveled figure in a Hallowe’en mask made of sagging pinkish –grey rubber that bears no more than a passing resemblance to the image of what I look like that I stubbornly retain in my head."

"When we arrived I marveled to see how much of the village as I remembered it was still here, if only for eyes that knew where to look, mine, that is. It was like encountering an old flame behind whose features thickened by age the slender lineaments that a former self so loved can still be clearly discerned."

"I looked aside quickly for fear my eyes would give me away; one’s eyes are always those of someone else, the mad and desperate dwarf crouched within. I knew what she meant. This was not supposed to have befallen her. It was not supposed to have befallen us, we were not that kind of people. Misfortune, illness, untimely death, these things happen to good folk, the humble ones, the salt of the earth, not to Anna, not to me."

"I recalled walking in the street with Anna one day after all her hair had fallen out and she spotted passing by on the pavement a woman who was also bald. I do not know if Anna caught me catching the look they exchanged, the two of them, blank-eyed and at the same time sharp, sly, complicit. In all that endless twelvemonth of her illness I do not think I ever felt more distant from her than I did at that moment, elbowed aside by the sorority of the afflicted."

"[my daughter] understands me to a degree that is disturbing and will not indulge my foibles and excesses as others do who know me less and therefore fear me more. But I am bereaved and wounded and require indulging. If there is a long version of shrift, then that is what I am in need of. Let me alone, I cried at her in my mind, let me creep past the traduced old Cedars, past the vanished Strand Café, past the Lupins and the Field that was, past all this past for if I stop I shall surely dissolve in a shaming puddle of tears."

"Have I spoken already of my drinking? I drink like a fish. No, not like a fish, fishes do not drink, it is only breathing, their kind of breathing. I drink like one recently widowed-widowered? – a person of scant talent and scanter ambition, greyed o’er by the years, uncertain and astray and in need of consolation and the brief respite of drink-induced oblivion. I would take drugs if I had them, but I have not, and do not know how I might go about getting some."

C for Effort

All weekend I was glued to my seat awaiting critical news. Would Limbo be renewed for for another millenia? No, I'm not talking about the latest show from the producers of CSI, I'm talking about that magical waiting room in the sky filled with those unbaptized souls whom God alone will admit to Heaven or boot to the fiery inferno of Hell. The concept was invented by some 13th century monk and this weekend the Pope was supposed to let us know where it stood; the Church is apparently looking to absolve itself of the embarrassment of its 800 year old invention. For those near death, the dissolution of Limbo must really really suck. In all seriousness, I give the Catholic Church partial credit for coming up with Limbo; they showed good creativity while increasing market share. I used to wonder what religions that rely on belief in Christ had to say about the millions of souls that lived and died before Jesus. Even hundreds of years after Christ's death most of the world - Native Americans, Africans, Asians, etc. - had yet to experience the joys of missionaries. It seemed a bit unfair that they were burning in hell despite never even having had the opportunity to give JC a try. So for trying to cover up that massive hole in it's ideology, I give the Church a C though if I were a faithful parishioner who had been regularly dropping coin in the collection plate to up my prospects for the afterlife, I'd be looking for a refund about now.

Clouds Brewing on Subway Series?

I'll be happy if either NY team makes it. Really. I like baseball and have followed the Yanks but I'm no diehard. The Mets making it to the World Series would be just as satisfying to me. In any event, have a nice weekend folks.

(photo by Travis Ruse)

More Comment Troubles?

Let me know

This Is Your Stop, Please Get Off

I am guilty of a heinous crime. Yep, I racial profile. Not with respect to renting apartments, I'm not a landlord. Nor do I give out traffic tickets based on race, I'm no cop. If you don't get approved for a loan, don't look at me, I'm not a banker. Want a job? I'm not the man to talk to. But I do ride the subway and there's nothing more frustrating than watching people who should be getting off at a particular stop, stay seated. I don't profile with malice, I just want a damn seat during rush hour. In the good old days, I could stand near some Asian folks as the train approached Grand Street, 7 times out of 10, Big D was sitting down. Black folks on the downtown Lexington Ave. line tended to switch for the A line at Fulton, bingo. The Russians and Jews weren't getting off until Stillwell Ave. so there was no point waiting near them - thankfully I don't live that far out. One way or the other, race and train stops had a nice correlation vis a vis me getting a seat. It's not so simple anymore. White folks live in Harlem, Boricuas now live in the Poconos - Williamsburg having gotten too expensive, Lesbians pass right by Park Slope on their way to Windsor Terrace, and tourists now include Brooklyn on their itineraries. WTF? And on those rare occasions that I do get a seat, wouldn't you know it but some pregnant woman boards the train right near where I'm sitting. Eyes immediately start scanning around the train until they find what they're looking for; me, the token Latino whom everyone knows is genetically compelled to offer his seat to pregnant women. Coño.

It's Not Christmas But The War Has Already Started

Two American scientists win the Nobel Prize for their contribution to supporting and expanding the Big Bang theory. The Nobel Prize? It's amazing how far liberals will go to bash Christians.

Since Most Of Their Viewers Aren't Keen On Facts ...

This "typo" probably worked as planned.

What's In A Label? $$$$

Coach is suing Target for selling a counterfeit Coach bag. Target claims it believed the bag was authentic. This follows a similar lawsuit against Wal-Mart for selling a counterfeit Fendi bag at Sam's Club. First of all, who knew Target and Sam's Club sold Coach and Fendi? Secondly, if the counterfeits were good enough to fool professional buyers at the world's two largest retailers, why buy the real thing? I once worked with a woman who had expensive tastes and one day she came in with a very expensive looking bag - a Prada. She told me it was a fake, I would have never known (not that I know much about designer brands, but still). Sure, there are arguments to be made for quality materials and construction, but can those factors justify the insane prices fashion labels charge for their products? I wouldn't want to buy a counterfeit car, counterfeit medicine, or things of that nature, but a wallet, yeah, hook me up with the bootleg version and let me fill it with the cash I saved.

Jose Canseco: The Most Honorable Man In Baseball

A ranking of the biggest cheats in baseball would probably look something like: Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, and then a bunch of other people. It's not that players like Ken Caminetti and Jose Canseco are less guilty than the first three (they're among the few who have actually confessed to using steroids), but the public and sports writers seem less interested in their stories. Writers and fans have wasted little time in discounting the careers of Bonds and Sosa while the feeling towards McGuire is more disappointment than anything. Now new allegations point to three more high profile cheaters, Roger Clemens, Andy Petitte, and Miguel Tejada. As with Bonds and Sosa, none of the recently accused players has ever tested positive so it remains to be seen how this plays out, however, if anyone in baseball warrants scrutiny, it has to be Clemens. Unlike Bonds whose career has never faltered and always trended up, Clemens went through a four year period in his mid 30's where many, including the Red Sox, thought he was finished. Not only did Clemens return to his winning ways, but he went on to earn four more Cy Young awards including a record setting 7th in 2004 as a 42 year old. Yet, despite these age defying accomplishments, and despite a prickly personality, Clemens has kept his name out of this discussion - until now. Roger, Jose's on the phone, wants to co-write a book with you ...

Busted

By now you've probably all heard about the resignation of Repbublican Congressman from Florida, Mark Foley. Turns out he was quite the pedophile perv. The initially leaked emails were inappropriate but fell a little short of criminal, however, the released transcripts of his IM chats with a teenager open the flood gates. There's more to this story, several high ranking republicans knew of Foley's penchant for young boys but stayed quiet. Prediction: Gas prices fall another $.25

Not So Dearly Departed

This is apparently real. Had it been me burying a relative I hated, I wouldn't have wasted money on an elaborate headstone. Or a wake. Or a funeral.

It reads: You spent your life expressing animosity for nearly every person you encountered, including your children. Within hours of his death, you even managed to declare your husband of fifty-seven years unsuited to being either a spouse or a father. Hopefully, you are now insulated from all the dissatisfaction you found in human relationships.

I'd Like A Number 7, Mirco-Sized Please

These aren't props, they're actual edible food. See how they made it. When it comes to eating fast food, this may be the only way to avoid becoming a tub of lard. White Castle IS impressed.

The Black Jesse Helms

Vernon Robinson, an Eagle Scout and graduate of the US Air Force Academy, is running for Congress in North Carolina against Democrat incumbent Brad Miller. Robinson happily assumes the mantle of former North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms, but instead of merely denigrating blacks to instill fear in white voters, Robinson expands the template to include today's boogie men, illegal aliens and homosexuals. The hot looney one finds him impressive.

In this Twilight Zone themed commercial, Robinson manages to touch upon the following evils that re-electing a Democrat will inflict upon the decent white citizens of North Carolina:

Homosexuals
Lesbians
Feminists
Liberal judges
Burning the American flag
Killing a million babies
(violating the) Ten Commandments
(denying) God
Black children born out of wedlock
Jesse Jackson
Al Sharpton (when he was fat)
Racial quotas

Give the man credit for being thorough. I wonder if Robinson was the inspiration for David Chapelle's piece on the Black Klansman.

Zoom Zoom Zoom

This is a fuel cell prototype wheelchair from Suzuki. Not much info available but it looks sweet.

Of course it's no Tesla, the all electric supercar that goes from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, then again, few cars are.

Sports Reporting - Shoot Me Now

As much as I love football, the level of special interest reporting that accompanies it drives me crazy. Last night the New Orleans Saints played their first game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina. Attention returns to New Orleans, a good thing. Not so good is having sideline reporters like Suzy Kolbert ask every celebrity she could find inane questions about the symbolism of it all. I guess ESPN can't help it, their entire business is based on propping up what is really only entertainment as something deeper and more profund. Stick to sports and leave the deeper questions to others, please.

The Jackson Five - Punjab Edition

Happy Fall

And have a nice weekend.

Bear With Me

On the eve of Rosh Hashana, things are pretty quiet here at the office so I'm going to work on fixing this blog. This new layout, unfortunately, is the result of upgrading to Blogger Beta and needing to fix the comment issues. Hopefully, I will be able to restore the look and feel of the old Kwotebel to the new site. Anyway, long live Kwotebel. Comments, On!

Concession To Pressure?

Wal-Mart has announced that it will beginnng selling certain generic prescription drugs for only $4 per month's supply. Some on the right feels this makes fools of the chain's liberal critics. I don't know, seems to me that the activists who rail against Wal-Mart couldn't be happier by this news. The pressure is working.

Next He Discovers He's An Asshole

As a teen growing up in California, Virginia Senator George Allen, developed a fascination with the confederacy and even wore a rebel flag pin for his high school yearbook photo. He's not southern but he respected the heritage. Later in life, Allen was known to display a noose is his law office, part of a memorobilia collection that was a tribute to our nation's early heritage, he explained. A 1996 photo with the leaders of the KKK, well that was just for shits and giggles.

His love of heritage being what it is, it wasn't surprising when just a few weeks ago Allen used a racial slur (see 4th item) to denigrate a non white employee of his Senate opponent, James Webb. Allen lets us know that he's no bigot, like any good Christian, he's a huge supporter of Israel, for example. The Jews will burn in hell for killing White Jesus and all, but without the rise of Israel, the Rapture will not be possible. Therefore, Go Israel, you Christ killing heathens!

All of which brings us to the latest chapter in le saga Allen. A reporter at a debate between the candidates had the audacity to ask if there was any truth to rumors that Allen had Jewish heritage. Allen, the master of the art of labelling hate as heritage, was not happy. His face turning redder than the reddest of necks, Allen took deep umbrage at the question; a slander, a cheap trick designed to hurt him politically he cried! How dare you affiliate me with those people! Have you no decency? Ok, yes, I'm a teensy weensy bit Jewish, but not culturally, and even though I've used my grandfather's internment in Nazi concentration camps to win points through out my political career, and even though anti-semitism is part of what I peddle under the guise of heritage, it's really no one's business, besides I never knew and well, now that it's been forced out in the open against my will, I love being Jewish, in a distant, not reallly sort of way.

Ah, beloved heritage, thou art a gift and a curse.

From The Master Of Parting ...

Athletes and rappers Fools from their money, the $13,000 Gold Turntable Ring, by Jacob.

I Actually Like Spinach, Really.

Little Rocker!

This 4 year old can jam.

Gotta Run ...

Have a great weekend!

(Photo by Travis Ruse)

Gmail, You're Buggin'

This ad was displayed when I went to check my gmail. I know gmail directs ads based on the content of your emails but WTF? I never talk about crack in writing. For more must have videos, click here.

Two Snaps And A Can Of Raid

Weathermen, the gift that keep on giving.

Don't We Own Iraq?

Then why is Hitler (on the left) hanging with our staff? Hundreds of Billions of Dollars and thousands of Americans lives sure doesn't buy what it used to. Here's Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki. A Shiite to Shiite love fest. For Iranians, the love is understandable, after decades of bitter war and rivalry with Iraq, our take-out of Hussein was a giant wet kiss on the cheek of Iran. In a mind bending moment of anachronistic irony, does this mean that we, the US, installer, employer, and owner of the new Iraqi government, are appeasing the new millenium Hitler? Oy Vey! These appeasement analogies get so confusing!

Animal Deaths, Sad. Animal Deaths in HD, Hot!

I'm a fiscally conservative guy. I've been known to create a mess in Duane Reade rifling through packages of cold medicine just to find the one with 30% More Free! (they're usually in the back, you just have to dig around a bit). And that's just for Dayquil, with major purchases I hem and haw for months, research my eyes out, talk to friends and family, retreat, wait a while, start the process over again, and then, maybe (usually), I pull the trigger.

Despite my penny pinching ways, I recently purchased a new 37 inch LCD HDTV. Once I decided to do it, there was no holding back, and what started out as a relatively budget conscious toe-dip into the world of HDTV became an outright baptism (as my old preacher used to say, "you can't be partially committed to the Lord"; the same holds true for HDTV - in for a penny, in for 300,000). What good is an HDTV, I asked, without a gaming system that could take advantage of all that resolution? What good is a High Def gaming system without a handful of games? What good is an obscenely priced cable package without the added expense of every friggin' HD channel available? Shit, why even bother with High Def TV and games if that beautiful signal won't be travelling through the proper gas-insulated, ferrite core, silver plated cables? It would defeat the purpose. What's the big deal about going $1500 over budget, anyway? It's just, well, you get the picture (in all its silky perfection).

So now, as the proud papa of a new High Def entertainment system, some may wonder, was it worth it? Do the Japanese sell square watermelons? Hell yes, kind of. HDTV kicks ass, but only a few ass. What? Let me explain.

Buying an HDTV has been quite an education. Sites like AVSForum help, but frankly, it becomes clear early on that just about every HD product out there has its pros and cons, its strengths and weaknesses, its loyal supporters and merciless detractors. All that debate can be confusing, and I'm no dummy. Frankly, however, the tech side of the equation only takes you so far, content is the real issue.

You see, while luxuriating in the glow of an HD signal is a truly wonderful experience, the experience is seriously rationed these days. My mega super-duper, maxxed the F out cable package from Time Warner, it of the aforementioned obscene cost, includes a less than overwhelming 17 HD channels, many of which display HD programming only some of the time. Are you with me? PBS, Discovery, HBO, ESPN, are great, but where are the other major networks? In times like these I have no choice but to suspect a conspiracy. It feels like the networks and cable companies are intentionally dragging their feet, delaying HD roll out - and the attendant expense - as long as possible. It's a disgrace. I'm fortunate in that most of what I watch is sports and sports are well represented in HD but I can't help but feel cheated. I want to live in an HD world; right now I feel like a tourist who only visits the major attractions, they're cool and all, but there's so much more to be seen.

Until more content is rolled out I'll find a way to endure. At least a lot of the current programming is educational. Let me tell you, you haven't seen anything until you've seen a pack of hyenas ripping the viscera out of an oh so cute, but tragically unlucky lion cub. Talk about a wow factor. Hakuna Matada, Mutha F#ck#r!

Get Ready For Election Season

9/11

Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge as you left Manhattan, if you looked back, you'd see the Twin Towers emerging over the City skyline. It was a moment I always looked forward to on those late nights coming home from work. As a kid, a would-be architect, I loved the Twin Towers and not only because they were easy to draw, they were special. Twenty years later I still wasn't tired of looking at them. In May of 2001 my mother, and niece and nephew came to visit from Buffalo. After an exhausting day touring Ellis Island and the Statute of Liberty, I decided we should go the top of the World Trade Center. The kids were tired, my mother was skeptical, but I insisted. We all appreciate the memories.

Wait 'Til The Bubble Bursts

By Hugh MacLeod

Honda Accord, Meet Somone With Too Much Money

Pimped out, man! A car like this definitely deserves a You Tube moment, right before it's set on fire.

Take It Off

No, this isn't a Two Live Crew reference, I'm talking about FairUse4WM, a program that allows you to strip your DRM encoded songs - the itunes you bought from apple, for example - for duplication and use as you see fit. Several people have asked me over the years how you can break free of the Apple software scheme, this is one way. By stripping the DRM off your songs, you can play your music on different mp3 players, move files to different hard drives, not be tied to one particular software, etc. If you have an Ipod and try this, let me know how it turns out.

More Bullets Than Charlton Heston

Duck:

• Anyone see the VMAs last night? Lot of booty shakin' going on. Must be tough being a non booty-shaking female in the pop music business.
  
• Anyone read about the cigarette industry's manipulation of nicotine levels over the past decade? Apparently, in the face of a dwindling consumer base, RJ Reynolds and friends have been secretly adding nicotine to cigarettes to make them more addictive. That's one way to keep customers. Now if only I could find a way to make my dwindling readership additcted to Kwotebel ... A weekly boobies feature perhaps?
  
• USA basketball is eliminated from gold medal contention at the World Championships by Greece. Wow. I wonder who'll get blamed. It was much easier for the critics when George Thompson coached the national team, or when players like Allen Iverson were on the team, but here, coached by the virtuous Mike Krzyzewski, and featuring non-threatening players like D. Wade and Shane Battier, who will the venom be directed at? Go USA?
  
• This is the funniest "where babies come from" illustrated book, ever!
  
• Some people complain when professional athletes hold out for higher salaries arguing that the players should be grateful to earn so much more than the average worker. I wish a player had the guts to say: the day millions of people tune in to watch what you do at work you can tell me what's a good salary for me, until then, STFU.
  
• Looks like the weather along the east coast will suck this weekend, nonetheless, enjoy the long weekend.

82nd Chairborne Strikes Again

Vietnam war hero, Iraq war critic, and former US Senator, Max Cleland, has publicized his decision to seek treatment for post war traumatic stress disorder. James Taranto of the Wall Street Journal's Opinion Journal selectively quotes Cleland to mock him:

How credible is Cleland as "a vocal critic of the Iraq war" when by his own admission his approach to it is "avoidance, not wanting to connect with anything dealing with" it, and trying "to disconnect and disassociate" from sources of information about it?

Greenwald retorts:

To chest-beating warriors like Taranto who so endlessly impress themselves by cheering on wars from afar, the slaughter and brutality of wars is purely abstract -- akin to losing (or gaining) points in a video game that they play while slumped safely on their couch or in front of their computer. Only weak, whiny, spineless, freakish losers like Cleland suffer effete emotional disturbances as a result of the endless bloodbath in Iraq. It's the tough and resolute guys like James Taranto who can call for more and more killing and bombing and invasions and slaughter while sleeping perfectly well at night ...

Cleland lost three limbs in military service on behalf of the United States, and now he speaks publicly about his mental struggles with war in order to make it easier for other veterans who could benefit from treatment to seek that treatment. But to Taranto, it's Cleland whose views on war we should ignore because after being "engrossed" by the war for three years, he has finally become so emotionally affected by the endless killings that he finds it difficult to read about it every day.

I've said it previously, if we are - as the war mongers say - in an age of unparalleled terror and nuclear proliferation, facing an ominous threat that could very well lead to the destruction of this country, the dhimmification of our Western culture, our leaders would be negligent if they didn't institute a mandatory military service requirement for all citizens. Our armed forces are not large enough to fight all the wars that need to be fought. Service is the patriotic thing to do. Everyone will pay their fair share for protecting our country and perhaps then we won't have people like Cleland losing limbs that should have come from the likes of Bush, Cheney, and Rove.