Update III: B'Day/Christmas List

Update III: OMG - Secret Motherfucking Santa Strikes Again! I have been told by yet another individual who shall remain nameless that I will soon be receiving a year long subscription to the Economist. Then last night I was presented with a book of short stories by an author I've never read (who sounds right up my alley). At this point folks, all I can say is thank you to everyone (seriously), this outpouring of generosity is definitely appreciated.

I feel kinda sorry for those of you who haven't gotten me anything yet; like guests to a wedding who check the registry at the last minute, all you're left with are the expensive items. Sucks for you. I Keed!!! Actually though, since I never contemplated that this list would be acted on, that I would be striking things off, I've decided to remove the foolish items and add a few new items (for those who are looking to up their chances of getting into heaven).

Update II: This keeps getting better and better. I am the proud new owner of a (second hand but fully functional) mp3 player. If only I had known about this list business years ago. Christmas is only a couple of weeks away but I have confidence in you people, with a little hard work we will knock this list out. Make it happen people!

Update: To my amazement and appreciation, someone (who shall remain nameless) sent me an item off my wish list. I am the happy new owner of a very slick new universal remote; the perfect toy for my inner geek and inner control freak. Thank you! In the spirit of seeing how much more I can get from you people, the list is updated and revised. Happy Shopping.

Big D turn(ed) 35 on December 7th and will soon celebrate the birth crass commercialization of White Jesus. If you're so inclined, these items are on my list of things - in no particular order - that I'm waiting for other people to buy me (some reasonable, some pie in the sky):

• Subscription to the Economist.
• Universal Home Theater Remote Control - not the $20 version either, more like this one.
• Gears of War - Xbox 360 game. (I rented it on gamefly)
• An Ipod mp3 player, the one I have but haven't used in months is dead. I'll even take the holy mp3 player. My use of it would be ironic giving me the cool status I yearn for but never attain.
• Polar heart rate monitor/watch set - been highly recommended to me. Warning, I might re-gift.
• Skiing lessons - not easy guiding 245, 241 238 pounds of Big D down a mountain (but getting easier!)
• A Hickey Freeman Blazer - their clothes fit me really well. Country club republicans and I apparently have the same rotund American frame. Damn. (I'll get this on my own).
• A - non Kenneth Cole - briefcase. For "once in a lifetime" purchases I'd prefer something slightly more special. Bruno Magli briefcases are nice. (future wife, this one's for you).
• Killer stock tips - my savings are not appreciating fast enough! Insiders, I can keep a secret.
• Contributions to the Writer's Showcase. Let's go people!
• A book you love, think is great, by a writer I'm not familiar with (ie, nothing from Marquez, Saramago, McEwan, McCormac, Mailer, Wolfe, Alvarez, Borges, Danticat, Eugenides, Burroughs, Ames, Gordimer, Coeteze, Banville, Updike, Welsh, Styron, Nabokov, Murakami, Ambrose, Llosa, Hosseini, Martel, Achebe, Abe, Mafouz, Tolkien, Lessing, Robbins, Wright, Hesse, Jennings, Ellroy, Baldwin, Vonnegut, Lethem, Roy, Franzen, Eggers, Zadie Smith, and anybody else you've ever heard me mention.
• Spanish language lessons/course/book/tapes - to be better prepared in the fight against El Queda (and for easier ordering from Tacos California).
• A Travis Ruse print - I've pimped enough of his images that he should get some money ... from someone.
• A cool T shirt. I like this one (in brown- xl).
• A CD you love by a band I may not be familiar with. Surprise me.
• A magic weight loss pill.
• Premium Cali bud. It helps me blog.
• Success and happiness to my friends.
• Peace on Earth (send that one to the Middle East).

Email me if you need my address. No, really.