As The Ball Drops ...

Be merry and happy, pretend you know the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne (don't worry, nobody does), strategically position yourself near any remaining mistletoe in case someone cute comes along, do not overdrink too early - you will just look amateurish, call your mama while you are still coherent, don't drive home drunk, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids on Monday, and when you wake up on Tuesday, start kicking ass! See you in the '07.

Peace and safety to our service men and women.

It's A(n) America Hating Life?

You don't have to try too hard during this time of year to catch It's A Wonderful Life on tv. The beloved classic starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed is deemed by many to be one of Hollywood's best. The FBI, it turns out, viewed the movie differently. With the commies running Hollywood and trying to corrupt feeble our American minds, the subversive message of the movie could not be ignored:

... this picture deliberately maligned the upper class, attempting to show the people who had money were mean and despicable characters.

Read more here. Personally, I've always preferred the lost ending to the movie.

Enjoy It While You Can

Sure we liberals get our fair share of credit for warring against Christmas (and rightfully so), but lost in the acclaim, lost in the platitudes, lost in the wealth and fortune bestowed upon us is any acknowledgement of the person who got us here. It's time to right that wrong and give credit where credit is due. I'm talking about the original warrior against Christmas; yes, I'm speaking of Scrooge. Despite the theatrical community's attempt to present him as some sort of flip-flopper, a repentant warrior against Christmas, those of us in the movement know better. The book and subsequent movie versions were accurate up to a point; Scrooge was a savvy business man. He didn't throw his money around carelessly, he didn't tolerate listless employees, or contribute to things like health care (the man knew a pre-cursor to socialism when he saw it!). And while some doctrinaire capitalists might worry about the message sent by Scrooge's legendary frugality, we should all remember that the kind of mindless consumption required for our society to thrive comes from the poor, not the rich, as Scrooge doubtless knew. Yes, those elements of the portrayal of Scrooge were correct, but does anyone really think that a few apparitions - the existence of which have never even been proven - could shake a man so firm in his mission against Christmas? I think not. Dickens, it would appear, had Orwellian tendencies before Orwell even put his name to them; converting a warrior against Christmas into a Christmas loving fool. Devious, devious, Dickens. Fortunately this distortion of Scrooge's message has failed to deter new generations of warriors (including, notably, the Grinch), and the movement has never been stronger. So to all my friends and loved ones, acquaintances and colleagues, have a very Merry Christmas - God willing, it will be your last.

I Gave Up Kipper For Lent

Ghetto girl: My boss makes us take off on Jewish holidays and don't even pay us!
Ghetto friend: That's messed up.
Ghetto girl: I know. I don't celebrate no Yipper Kipper! I wanna say to him, 'I ain't Jewish, nigga.'

--L train

Overheard by: Caroline

via Overheard in New York, Dec 17, 2006

Banned From NYC

They See Everything

Ron Mueck Exhibit @ Brooklyn Museum

We profiled this artist before. Check out the real deal at the Brooklyn Museum. Show runs through February 4, 2007.

Update III: B'Day/Christmas List

Update III: OMG - Secret Motherfucking Santa Strikes Again! I have been told by yet another individual who shall remain nameless that I will soon be receiving a year long subscription to the Economist. Then last night I was presented with a book of short stories by an author I've never read (who sounds right up my alley). At this point folks, all I can say is thank you to everyone (seriously), this outpouring of generosity is definitely appreciated.

I feel kinda sorry for those of you who haven't gotten me anything yet; like guests to a wedding who check the registry at the last minute, all you're left with are the expensive items. Sucks for you. I Keed!!! Actually though, since I never contemplated that this list would be acted on, that I would be striking things off, I've decided to remove the foolish items and add a few new items (for those who are looking to up their chances of getting into heaven).

Update II: This keeps getting better and better. I am the proud new owner of a (second hand but fully functional) mp3 player. If only I had known about this list business years ago. Christmas is only a couple of weeks away but I have confidence in you people, with a little hard work we will knock this list out. Make it happen people!

Update: To my amazement and appreciation, someone (who shall remain nameless) sent me an item off my wish list. I am the happy new owner of a very slick new universal remote; the perfect toy for my inner geek and inner control freak. Thank you! In the spirit of seeing how much more I can get from you people, the list is updated and revised. Happy Shopping.

Big D turn(ed) 35 on December 7th and will soon celebrate the birth crass commercialization of White Jesus. If you're so inclined, these items are on my list of things - in no particular order - that I'm waiting for other people to buy me (some reasonable, some pie in the sky):

• Subscription to the Economist.
• Universal Home Theater Remote Control - not the $20 version either, more like this one.
• Gears of War - Xbox 360 game. (I rented it on gamefly)
• An Ipod mp3 player, the one I have but haven't used in months is dead. I'll even take the holy mp3 player. My use of it would be ironic giving me the cool status I yearn for but never attain.
• Polar heart rate monitor/watch set - been highly recommended to me. Warning, I might re-gift.
• Skiing lessons - not easy guiding 245, 241 238 pounds of Big D down a mountain (but getting easier!)
• A Hickey Freeman Blazer - their clothes fit me really well. Country club republicans and I apparently have the same rotund American frame. Damn. (I'll get this on my own).
• A - non Kenneth Cole - briefcase. For "once in a lifetime" purchases I'd prefer something slightly more special. Bruno Magli briefcases are nice. (future wife, this one's for you).
• Killer stock tips - my savings are not appreciating fast enough! Insiders, I can keep a secret.
• Contributions to the Writer's Showcase. Let's go people!
• A book you love, think is great, by a writer I'm not familiar with (ie, nothing from Marquez, Saramago, McEwan, McCormac, Mailer, Wolfe, Alvarez, Borges, Danticat, Eugenides, Burroughs, Ames, Gordimer, Coeteze, Banville, Updike, Welsh, Styron, Nabokov, Murakami, Ambrose, Llosa, Hosseini, Martel, Achebe, Abe, Mafouz, Tolkien, Lessing, Robbins, Wright, Hesse, Jennings, Ellroy, Baldwin, Vonnegut, Lethem, Roy, Franzen, Eggers, Zadie Smith, and anybody else you've ever heard me mention.
• Spanish language lessons/course/book/tapes - to be better prepared in the fight against El Queda (and for easier ordering from Tacos California).
• A Travis Ruse print - I've pimped enough of his images that he should get some money ... from someone.
• A cool T shirt. I like this one (in brown- xl).
• A CD you love by a band I may not be familiar with. Surprise me.
• A magic weight loss pill.
• Premium Cali bud. It helps me blog.
• Success and happiness to my friends.
• Peace on Earth (send that one to the Middle East).

Email me if you need my address. No, really.

I'd Like To Know As Well

Suit #1: Dude, she's pregnant.
Suit #2: Holy shit. No way. What are you gonna do?
Suit #1: I have no idea.
Suit #2: You have to make her have an abortion.
Suit #1: It's her decision; I can't make her have an abortion.
Suit #2: Dude, you're an attorney -- you can make her do anything you want. And if she doesn't agree, you know there are ways to threaten her into doing it.
Suit #1, in amazement: Where the hell did you go to law school?

--53rd & Lex

via Overheard in New York, Dec 11, 2006

Speaking of Revisionist History

David Duke, former candidate for Congress, is in attendance at the Holocaust (denial) Conference in Iran. Wonder if he's sharing a room with Pat Buchanan. The ADL responds. Next week in Iran, the myth of Armstrong's landing on the moon is discussed.

Clarification By Comparison

Jimmy Carter continues his streak of staying front and center with the release of his controversial new book "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid" The rebukes have been flying off the presses about as fast as the book has. I haven't read the book, perhaps it sucks. A lot of folks who think about the Middle East a lot seem to have problems with it, the title especially. Fine, it's a book, discuss, disagree, who cares. The criticisms focus on the word Apartheid and frankly, it just seems weird that after all these years that it takes an unflattering look at Israel for the right to finally get riled up about Apartheid. I remember participating in debates about my college's refusal to completely divest from companies operating in South Africa (in 1989!). Across boardrooms and Wall Street, many argued that sanctioning Apartheid was not the way to go. On the night Nelson Mandela was elected as Prime Minister, after 30 years of torture and imprisonment (his election in my opinion, a milestone in human history), the right wing business personality Larry Kudlow could only muster, "well, this will be fine as long as he doesn't try to redistribute wealth" or some other banality. So now with an unflattering book, and I just learned, a movement across some campuses to divest from Israel, the evils of Apartheid have reached the status they never had while millions of South Africans were being brutalized - if only to differentiate Israel from South Africa! If nothing else hopefully this will prevent the type of revisionist history that we see happening now with the death of Chilean dictator Augustin Pinochet where some on the right have opined that though Pinochet was a mass murderer and torturer, and stole hundreds of millions from his people, he wasn't so bad.

Two Jobs, One Paying, One Non-Paying ...

Forced to choose, I've had to focus on my paying job lately; blogging has been a luxury that my work duties have not permitted. Sorry for the absence, here's what I've been thinking about:

• About six months after Abner Louima's torture at the hands of the NYPD was revealed, a colleague of mine at Proskauer and I were having lunch when the subject of police brutality arouse. He asked me what I was talking about and claimed to not have heard about the Louima case. His lack of knowledge and apparent disinterest in the matter was eye opening to me. Here was an Ivy League educated attorney at a major NY firm and he didn't know (or particularly care) about one of the most horrific acts of police brutality in modern times. To him, and I suspect to many others for whom police brutality is not something to fear, allegations of police brutality are just more complaining. For those for whom any encounter with the police might result in the use of excessive force, the Louima case, and more recently, the killing of Sean Bell, merely add to a long history of police brutality against people of color. It makes the news these days (even then, with footage and all, justice is not guaranteed), yet for people in these communities, you don't have to see it in the news to know about it. Chances are you, or people you know, have been roughed up by the cops; have had minor encounters trumped up into serious cases; have seen cops work to get you in the system in order to build a foundation to justify whatever future action they take against you, etc. This isn't paranoia or a conspiracy theory, for low income New Yorkers and Blacks and Latinos in particular, this is daily life.


• I haven't had time (duh!) to do the research but I had a thought that I want to pursue eventually. President Carter has been reviled by the right since he left office, for among other reasons, the damage to America his handling of the Iran Hostage Crisis resulted in. In addition to the 400+ days the hostages were held (their release was delayed to coincide with Reagan's inauguration), many have also sharply criticized the failed attempt to rescue the hostages in which several US soldiers were killed. My question/thesis is this: how much money and life (and more abstractly, American prestige) was lost due to Carter's handling of the crisis, vis a vis President Bush's handling of the War on Terror, the invasion of Iraq, and his Axis of Evil paradigm?


• VP Dick Cheney's daughter (and her partner of 15 years), are pregnant. Even Darth Vader himself will probably welcome the child into the family, but those on the right to whom Cheney and his wife pandered about the evils of homosexuality aren't too pleased.


• Dennis Prager is an asshole. And an uninformed fool. Sadly, he has an audience of millions.


• Public Service Announcement: Don't spend too much this Christmas - everyone you're buying a gift for already has too much shit. Save your money and show them you care other ways. Paid for by: You'll always be broke if you spend all your money.


• The NYC trans fat ban for restaurants was approved by the City Council. I smell a lawsuit. If the fry aint crisp, you must acquit.
  


• Any smoothie drinkers out there? I just bought an immersion blender, some whey protein, and mixing ingredients. My interest in this might fade quicker than my loose tea period.
  


• Pookie and the fellas are rolling through this weekend. God help me.

Not As Durable As The Originals

Some incredible sand sculptures

Evil Santa or Count Dooku?

The Pope has an eye for fashion.