It's Valentine's Day! Godiva stores are swamped. Surely there is no greater sign of love than standing in line for a good 20 minutes, maybe 25, to pick up a carefully crafted Ballotin for your special someone. Look hon, it's so golden and shiny. Those with less love to give seen hitting the Russell Stover aisle at Duane Reade. Those no longer trying seen rummaging through the half price bins at the 99 cent store.
I asked my mom to be my valentine, she said no.
Of course the big dogs don't mess around with chocolate, for them it's got to be the bling. Ah yes, diamonds are forever, marriages, not so much. By the way, have you ever tried to sell a diamond?
I asked my mom to be my valentine, she said no.
Of course the big dogs don't mess around with chocolate, for them it's got to be the bling. Ah yes, diamonds are forever, marriages, not so much. By the way, have you ever tried to sell a diamond?
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Steak and Blowjob Day
February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend, or girl your seeing by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other babbles that women find romantic. Secret...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been created. March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day." Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town-the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak and a BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak & Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine. The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
Um, I personally feel a man doesn't deserve a BJ in March if he didn't eat out on Valentine's Day...it's only fair.
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