Some bullets, or as my people say, balas

Sorry for the lack of postings. I've been ... lazy or busy, can't figure out which. Anyhoo, here are some things I have not been blogging about:

• First Dan Brown tells us that Catholics have hidden the remains of Jesus for the last 2000 years to prevent the public from learning the truth about Jesus, now Geraldo Rivera, I mean James Cameron, is trying to say that he's found the real remains of Christ. Biblical scholars are outraged and vow to demonstrate with science that the remains are not those of Jesus. Using science to defend a faith based religion, clever.
• The inside of microwave popcorn bags look disgusting.
• Generous people, lucky kid.
• Conservapedia, the "conservative" alternative to wikipedia, is so damn informative. For example, here's something about judicial activism they didn't teach us in law school (obviously):
  

  There are two major types of judicial activism practiced in the United States' court system: 1. Liberal judges striking down laws that uphold core conservative American values. 2. Liberal judges refusing to strike down laws that subvert core conservative American values.

• Someone I know would not be surprised to see this. He's always tried to convince me that they like it rough.
• The NYC Council's "N word" resolution; empty gesture or meaningful symbol? I don't know. Thoughts?
• The Sarah Silverman HBO comedy special is hilarious. On raising children in a mixed denomination household: "honey, mommy is one of the chosen people, daddy believes Jesus is magic"
• Don't judge me; movies I finally watched and was able to erase from my dvr:
  - Four Brothers - God awful. Marky Mark will fuck you up if you killed the woman who adopted him.
  - Wolf Creek - tourists get lost in Australian Outback where blood thirsty savages rip them to shreds. So gory I almost stopped watching it.
  - The Hills Have Eyes - tourists get lost in southwestern desert where unbeknownst to them, underground dwelling descendants of survivors of atomic testing, rip them to shreds. I can't put my finger on it but I feel like I just saw this movie.
• Sugar glazed whole wheat donuts at Krispy Kreme. The healthier way to get diabetes.
• Lunar eclipse this Saturday. Good thing I'm not Mayan, I would have had to sacrifice a few of you.

Pitch A Softball, Watch It Get Hit

KFC - Still Trans Fat Free At Least

From a KFC on 6th Ave and West 4th Street in the West Village, NYC.

Even Better

V.P. Cheney tells us the withdrawal of British troops is a sign things are going well in Iraq. That's why I'm so elated to hear that Lithuania is ready to pull back all of their 53 soldiers. I hear that the staff of the Weekly Standard is going to replace the lost Lithuanian troops. In spirit and lapel pins at least.

Given this administration's love of Orwellian word play, can't we just declare victory and leave? It's been done before.

Drawings by Kids

Illustrated by pros:

More here

Belatedly

While re-posting last year's Valentine's day post, I belatedly realized that Kwotebel recently turned one. Happy b'day Kwotebel! Can you believe it's been a year already? Wow. That was quick. Some facts about Kwotebel's first year:

• # of "unique" visitors since Feb 1, 2006 - *5,136
  
• # of posts - 445; a solid average of 1.22 posts per day
  
• Heaviest traffic in a month (by far) - May 2006.
  
• Most commented upon posts: Three with 13; Self Explanatory, So Many Possibilities, and We Planned it This Way
  
• Biggest Irony - the only book review to receive any comments is for the book I liked least - The Name of the Rose
  
• # of posts that mention White Jesus - 16.
  
• # of Travis Ruse pics used - 15 (thought it would be higher)
  
• Since Kwotebel's birth, Big D has: had 4 temp jobs (the current one since July, however), moved from Park Slope to Sunset Park, lost 50 pounds (and counting!), rappelled down a "cliff wall" in Mexico, and vomited zero times.

Thanks for all the support everyone.

*This doesn't mean that 5,000 people have visited the site. It's a way of tracking how many people within each 24 hour period, are visiting the site from distinct computers/ip addresses. If you visit the site from work, that counts as one unique visit no matter how many times you revisit the site from that particular computer. If you check from home that same day, however, that would count as an additional unique visitor. On any given day the number has ranged from 5 to 85. It's not a perfect metric but it's basically the way sites measure traffic, popularity, etc.

Recycled

What I had to say about Valentine's Day, 2006:

Look, it's shiny

It's Valentine's Day! Godiva stores are swamped. Surely there is no greater sign of love than standing in line for a good 20 minutes, maybe 25, to pick up a carefully crafted Ballotin for your special someone. Look hon, it's so golden and shiny. Those with less love to give seen hitting the Russell Stover aisle at Duane Reade. Those no longer trying seen rummaging through the half price bins at the 99 cent store. I asked my mom to be my valentine, she said no.Of course the big dogs don't mess around with chocolate, for them it's got to be the bling. Ah yes, diamonds are forever, marriages, not so much. By the way, have you ever tried to sell a diamond?

World Presss Photo Winners

A dark, bloody, and violent year in pictures.

It's Not Too Late

Today's Washington Post op-ed by William Oden is a must read:

For the moment, the collision of the public's clarity of mind, the president's relentless pursuit of defeat and Congress's anxiety has paralyzed us. We may be doomed to two more years of chasing the mirage of democracy in Iraq and possibly widening the war to Iran. But this is not inevitable. A Congress, or a president, prepared to quit the game of "who gets the blame" could begin to alter American strategy in ways that will vastly improve the prospects of a more stable Middle East.

It's a shame that you have to have the credentials that Mr. Oden has (retired Army lieutenant general, head of Army intelligence and director of the National Security Agency under Ronald Reagan, served on the National Security Council staff under Jimmy Carter. A West Point graduate with a PhD from Columbia, Odom teaches at Yale and is a fellow of the Hudson Institute) to be able to speak the truth without being labelled a traitor. Then again it's still early and we'd do ourselves an injustice if we underestimate the shamelessness of Bill Kristol & Co.

Been A While ...

Since I've come across a car this amazing. Unfortunately, unlike its Burberry competition, the blue velour interior has me pretty sure this is no Benz. Nonetheless, props for the sheer audacity.

Primary Season Is Going To Be Fun

Excited

Just found out that one of my favorite novels - Blindness by Jose Saramago - is under production for theatrical release in 2008. The director is Fernando Meirelles who recently directed the well regarded - The Constant Gardener. Let's hope the film bears a strong resemblance to the novel.

He Was A Great Man: RIP Barbaro

"I will never forget Barbaro," said Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who took a redeye flight out of Tehran upon hearing that Barbaro had passed away. "He was a special horse."

"Though he is gone, Barbaro's memory will live on forever in all the great things he did for this nation," said Kentucky Gov. Ernie Fletcher, who recently founded the Barbaro Foundation to help disadvantaged youths receive proper schooling and to provide medical assistance for AIDS patients in Africa. "He had a lot left to live for, and so much more left to give. I sometimes wish the Good Lord had taken me instead of him."

The rest at the Onion.

Improve Your Craigslist Experience

Here's Listpic - the Craigslist pic viewer. Instead of clicking on every link to see images of what's being sold, listpic displays items for sale in a thumbnail format. Clicking on a thumbnail pulls up a window with details from the original ad. This is a big time saver. Cool.

The Man Has Skill

Travis Ruse capturing the iconic product of our time