I was browsing through a discussion over at Daily Heights (a message board concerning my old neighborhood, Prospect Heights), about the maneuvers parents undertook to get their children admitted to the best* public schools, and was struck by this comment:
"... I think this is an aspect of NYC life that goes beyond schools -- people also act this way about their choice of doctor, neighborhood, etc. It just grows out of this overarching sense that New York is a competition to the death for limited resources, that there can only be one Good Enough Choice in any given decision and everyone else is screwed. "
I think the commenter summed up perfectly a peculiar aspect of living in New York - not just the hunt for the best*, but the passion with which those labels are professed and defended. I see it often with food: to have a favorite pizza in New York is not just to like it, but to claim it vigorously as the best*. In other aspects of life, claiming best* status takes on entirely different dimensions. The scramble for education strikes me as surreal; parents pay thousands to advisors to help their toddlers get into the best* preschools. I can't blame these parents for doing what they think is right for their families but I do find it a touch insulting that the pursuits of these well off folks overshadow the struggles that the vast majority of New Yorkers face who don't have the means or access to these resources.
Competition exists in other markets but it seems exacerbated in New York because of the combination of a so many high achieving, ambitious and well off people. Additionally, the vast amount of choices available in New York seems to cause stress - perhaps the best* label is a coping mechanism. I made the right choice because it's - x, y, z, whatever - the best*.
There's nothing wrong with wanting the best* for yourself and family, it just seems delusional and self serving to think that you're getting it or that it's even attainable. A couple of years ago I was referred to a great dentist, he was the best dentist I've ever had, and objectively very good. Was he the best* dentist in New York? Doubtful, but who cares? I was happy to have found a good dentist.
It seems to me people find comfort in wholly irrelevant classifications when what's really important is getting the service, product, experience you want, at a price you feel is fair (or great).
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This is absolutely correct and as a parent about to test the local educational waters I have to admit that this can become very stressful if you allow it to. Interesting that in my Bklyn neighborhood, which is predominantly African-American but slowly being populated by more and more "Honquistadors", the two local public elementary schools have, according to longtime residents, been pretty good over the years. Newcomers, however, were not necesarily convinced and sent their children to private schools. My guess is that a few did not and set out to improve (or at least make sure they were legit) free public schools. Apparently, their work has paid off and these schools are now actually in demand, with many parents forming a network of pseudo admissions experts to ensure that their kids get in. There is something insulting about the idea that many kids might get shut out of a quality education, but I can't put my finger on it.
Bottom line is that while I do want an excellent education for my little one, I am not looking forward to the politics of pre-school parenting.
Now regarding pizza, there is only one Best* and that is DiFara's on 14th and Avenue J in Midwood Brooklyn. Sure you have to wait for a long time for your slice of heaven, but it's well worth it. This, I'm afraid, cannot be discussed. Case closed. NEXT!
DiFaras is good, and many people consider it to be the best tasting. But for me, waiting an hour for a pizza doesn't cut it, it's just not THAT good. The effort required to attain something factors into my view of it.
Time factors into my ability to get it nowadays, too since three-year olds don't normally sit still for 4 minutes let alone 45.
Your favorite spot?
I often take visitors to Grimaldis - the pizza is pretty good, the view excellent, and though the lines are long, they move quickly.
For late night snacking in the Slope, I like a little spot called "Joe's of Bleecker" - not the other 5,000, but the one on 5th ave between 12 and 13. They're open til 4am, useful when I'm stumbling out of a bar at that hour.
S&B Spumoni Gardens is also pretty good for an every now and then change of pace. Bensonhurst/Coney Island area.
And don't get me wrong, DiFaras is great when my brother or someone else picks it up.
Wow, there are Joe's of Bleecker Street imitators now? I guess that's a sign of success.
There's also a legit Joe's outpost on 7th Ave near where the named streets start turning into numbered ones. Not sure it's still there, though. I wasn't even aware of the one you mentioned until that last trip to Royale (?)
L&B is legit. If you're in the area, Totonno's on Neptune Ave in Coney Island is good stuff too. Probably my favorite brick oven right up there with Grimaldi's.
Best Pizza in the world is Chicago deep dish style...NOT!! just kidding ...fucking people from chicago call that pizza...its fucking casserole.
but the best sex addict in NY now lives in Chicago (me!).
haha
i hear what you are saying about competition for elementary school. some studies show mixed results...it seems like during pre-k to 3 grade kids placed in advance programs do better but then it evens out. i can't imagine paying for "advisors" or 10-20K per year for elementary to high school, but that's what some folks want to do for their kids. whatever.
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